December 10, 2021 ‘Alien’ Porn Parody Posits That in Space Nobody Can Hear You Cream ‘Alien’ Porn Parody Posits That in Space Nobody Can Hear You Cream SAN FRANCISCO — Porn studio FilmFuck has produced a parody film taking inspiration from Ridley Scott’s horror classic Alien entitled ‘Alien ResERECTION,’ which posits the…
December 10, 2021 New Buddhism Update Allows Items and Upgrades to Carry Into Next Life New Buddhism Update Allows Items and Upgrades to Carry Into Next Life BEIJING — A new Buddhist doctrine confirms that your earthly possessions and skills will now carry into your new life after death, enlightened sources confirm.…
December 10, 2021 Glowing Anime Recommendation Only 70% Caveats Glowing Anime Recommendation Only 70% Caveats COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local anime fan Darren Jeffries strongly recommended the recent series Danjonmonsutā: I Love Crushing Dungeon Monsters to his friends, including only roughly…
December 9, 2021 Team Rocket Mortified as Teleporter Pad Fuses Child With Butterfree Team Rocket Mortified as Teleporter Pad Fuses Child With Butterfree SAFFRON CITY, Kanto — Members of notorious crime syndicate Team Rocket were horrified to discover that a small child who stumbled into their headquarters accidentally…
December 9, 2021 Activision Blizzard Wins Game Award for Best Ongoing Scandal Activision Blizzard Wins Game Award for Best Ongoing Scandal LOS ANGELES — Garnering a round of enthusiastic applause from the live audience at the Microsoft Theater, Geoff Keighley announced on Thursday evening that gaming…
December 8, 2021 Complicated Puzzle in Game Tasks You With Pulling Out Your Phone and Looking it Up Complicated Puzzle in Game Tasks You With Pulling Out Your Phone and Looking it Up LOS ANGELES — An intricate puzzle in the new adventure game Eternities in Atlantis tasks players with pausing the game and seeking the solution online,…
December 8, 2021 Horny PC Tower Gets Turned On by Foot Horny PC Tower Gets Turned On by Foot NEW YORK — A sexually charged PC tower sitting on gamer Nicolas Mooney’s floor was reportedly turned on today by Mooney’s foot pressing the power…
December 8, 2021 Opinion: Their Life Points are Low, There’s No Way They’re Coming Back! Opinion: Their Life Points are Low, There’s No Way They’re Coming Back! Ha-ha! Tremble in fear at my formidable Duel Monsters skills, onlookers! It is I, Literally Any Fucking ‘Yu-Gi-Oh!’ Rival Character You Can Possibly Imagine, and…
December 8, 2021 Developers Reveal Mashing Buttons Really Does Make It Load Faster Developers Reveal Mashing Buttons Really Does Make It Load Faster LOS ANGELES — Major game studios have confirmed that clicking the buttons on the controller really will reduce the load time just a little bit.…
