November 13, 2021 Santa Claus Totally Fucked Over By Bitcoin Miners Buying Every Graphics Card Santa Claus Totally Fucked Over By Bitcoin Miners Buying Every Graphics Card NORTH POLE — Saint Nick is reportedly in a very tight spot as bitcoin miners continue to snatch up all of the graphics cards featured…
November 12, 2021 Gun-Loving Parents Concerned About Adorable Video Games Their Children are Playing Gun-Loving Parents Concerned About Adorable Video Games Their Children are Playing SAN JOSE, Calif. — A diehard gun-loving couple has reportedly grown very concerned over the overly cute video games their son Connor has been playing…
November 9, 2021 Air Bud Slain by Teen Wolf in Conference Championship Game Air Bud Slain by Teen Wolf in Conference Championship Game FERNFIELD, Wash. — Tragedy struck in the regional basketball quarterfinals last night, as the Lincoln Beavers not only beat the Fernfield Timberwolves, but the team’s…
November 7, 2021 Retired Sub Zero Lands Job as Mortal Kombat Announcer Retired Sub Zero Lands Job as Mortal Kombat Announcer OUTWORLD — After a string of concussions forced him to retire suddenly from competition, Mortal Kombat favorite Sub-Zero has been signed to announce the pay-per-view…
November 7, 2021 EA Employees Stage Walkout Just to Get Away From Desks for a Minute EA Employees Stage Walkout Just to Get Away From Desks for a Minute REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — A group of EA employees has staged a walkout this afternoon, citing no further demands than just getting away from their…
November 6, 2021 Q-Anon Believer Swears JFK Jr. Coming to Smash Bros Tonight Q-Anon Believer Swears JFK Jr. Coming to Smash Bros Tonight DALLAS — A staunch believer in the ongoing Q conspiracy has spent the day swearing to his friends that John F. Kennedy Jr. will be…
November 3, 2021 Seeking Profit, Peacock Begins to Charge Users $4,500 a Month Seeking Profit, Peacock Begins to Charge Users $4,500 a Month NEW YORK — Shortly after disclosing a disappointing quarterly loss of $520 million, executives at NBC Universal revealed a daring new strategy to try to…
November 2, 2021 Considerate RPG Doesn’t Tell You How Long You’ve Been Playing Considerate RPG Doesn’t Tell You How Long You’ve Been Playing OSLO, Norway — A recently released RPG video game is garnering rave reviews for omitting what most games in the genre include as a standard…
October 31, 2021 Sakurai Reveals Next Project: Hand-Written Thank You Letters to Everyone That’s Tweeted Nice Things at Him the Last Few Years Sakurai Reveals Next Project: Hand-Written Thank You Letters to Everyone That’s Tweeted Nice Things at Him the Last Few Years KYOTO, Japan — Game designer Masahiro Sakurai has revealed what his next project will be following his work on the Super Smash Bros. series: hand…
