August 17, 2021 Welp: We Were Gonna Do Something Called ‘GameShark Week,’ But We’re Out of Shit to Write About Already Welp: We Were Gonna Do Something Called ‘GameShark Week,’ But We’re Out of Shit to Write About Already Fuck, man. I pitched GameShark Week and figured it was a home run for sure. I lied and said I had a week’s worth of…
August 13, 2021 Zelda Timeline Explained to No One in Particular Zelda Timeline Explained to No One in Particular FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — The correct chronological order of the events depicted in The Legend of Zelda series of video games was the subject of a…
August 13, 2021 Sega Announces Next Sonic Game Will Be One of the Bad Ones Sega Announces Next Sonic Game Will Be One of the Bad Ones TOKYO — Sega announced today that they are working on a new game featuring their iconic mascot Sonic the Hedgehog, and that it will also…
August 10, 2021 We Spent 15 Years Testing the Xbox 360 and PS3 and are Ready to Declare a Winner We Spent 15 Years Testing the Xbox 360 and PS3 and are Ready to Declare a Winner Any lifelong gamer knows that every so many years we are treated to the cutthroat environment that surrounds the launch of a new console generation,…
August 10, 2021 Idris Elba Clarifies That He Just Tweeted That Pic Because He Likes Knuckles a Lot Idris Elba Clarifies That He Just Tweeted That Pic Because He Likes Knuckles a Lot LOS ANGELES — Idris Elba clarified that the viral tweet many have taken as confirmation that he is playing Knuckles in the Sonic the Hedgehog…
August 10, 2021 Shy Guy Discovers Philosophical Doppelganger Why Guy Shy Guy Discovers Philosophical Doppelganger Why Guy MUSHROOM KINGDOM — During a routine shift guarding a stretch of Mushroom Kingdom, erstwhile henchman Shy Guy met his bizarro world counterpart: a deeply introspective…
August 10, 2021 YouTube Film Critic Worried After Seeing Video of Robot Rolling Its Eyes Convincingly YouTube Film Critic Worried After Seeing Video of Robot Rolling Its Eyes Convincingly SAN FRANCISCO — A tech demo showing a recently developed automaton with the ability to critique movies and roll their eyes at them has reportedly…
August 8, 2021 Christopher Nolan Reveals He Will Not Watch YouTube Videos Unless They’re on IMAX Screen Christopher Nolan Reveals He Will Not Watch YouTube Videos Unless They’re on IMAX Screen LOS ANGELES — Director and cinema traditionalist Christopher Nolan has revealed that he refuses to watch any YouTube links he is sent unless he can…
August 8, 2021 Psst. You. Yeah, You. Wanna Buy a PS5? Psst. You. Yeah, You. Wanna Buy a PS5? Hey, kid. Yeah, you. Hey, c’mere. I’m talkin’ to ya! Hey, you kids want to buy a PlayStation 5? Just follow me through this alley.…
