Press "Enter" to skip to content

Psst. You. Yeah, You. Wanna Buy a PS5?


Hey, kid. Yeah, you. Hey, c’mere. I’m talkin’ to ya! Hey, you kids want to buy a PlayStation 5? Just follow me through this alley. Come on, it’ll be fine. Hurry up.

I know what you’re thinking, “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers, and more pressing, nobody can get their hands on a PS5,” right? You kids are smart, yeah, real smart. Couple of smart kids like you could see through a bullshitter, right? But let me tell you something, if you follow me a few more blocks, I’ll show you the stuff. You’ll see. I’ll sell you one at a real good price. Real good. 

Hey! Get away from these two! These two are mine, you fuckin’ hear me?! You get your own fuckin’ action! 

Sorry about that, boys. That was, uh, my friend. We were just yelling about a game we played last night. You guys play games online? Oh, you’re gonna love this PS5, then. Yeah, we’re almost there now. Come this way. 

Huh? Oh, yeah, of course we’re supposed to be in here, are you guys kidding me? I know it looks like we just broke into a warehouse, but this is just loft apartments. Me and some guys stay upstairs, that’s all. This is just the attached garage that the unit has. 

Now look boys, I can’t go much further with you here. It’s these shoes, if I go out there where the PlayStation is, I’m liable to scuff the floor all up and I don’t want Tony getting mad. Oh, Tony is my roommate. I’m actually surprised he’s not here. 

Anyway, you do wanna buy this PlayStation 5, right? Well, it’s just in there. Hey actually, I left mine in there, too. You don’t want to grab mine while you’re in there, do you? 

No, that’s the funny thing, I haven’t even opened it yet! I bought extra, that’s why I’m being so generous. You’ll see when you get in there. Just grab two of the unopened PlayStation 5’s that you see. 

OK, I’m going to give you this gun. Don’t worry, it’s a gag. You know when Joker has that gun and the flag comes out and says “Bang!”? That’s all this is. If anyone tries to stop you, I want you to get them laughing, so point that at them and squeeze the trigger, okay? Point it right at their eyes, I want to make sure they see the joke. 

OK, remember we just need the two. Good luck in there. We’ll talk price when you come back.