June 28, 2021 Archeologists Discover Ancient ASCII Cave Drawings Archeologists Discover Ancient ASCII Cave Drawings MONTIGNAC, France — While examining the walls of a recently unearthed cave system, a team of archaeologists discovered a series of ASCII drawings consisting of…
June 28, 2021 iPhone Game’s Final Boss Just a Big Gem You Buy iPhone Game’s Final Boss Just a Big Gem You Buy DOVER, Ohio — Players of the lengthy iPhone game Mythic Hero Quest Legends have reported that the final boss is just a great big gem you…
June 28, 2021 Logan Paul Announces New Branded Green Screen Logan Paul Announces New Branded Green Screen LOS ANGELES — YouTuber and internet personality Logan Paul has announced that he is selling a new branded green screen with his name repeated across…
June 24, 2021 Kotaku Headline Trying a Little Too Hard to Be Your Friend Kotaku Headline Trying a Little Too Hard to Be Your Friend NEW YORK — A new headline on the video game website Kotaku about an upcoming video game delay is reportedly trying a little too hard…
June 24, 2021 Man Explains Unnoticed Absence From Social Media Man Explains Unnoticed Absence From Social Media DETROIT — Social media user Jerry Clay has reportedly taken to Facebook to explain his online hiatus that none of their followers were aware had…
June 23, 2021 Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee MADRID —The perpetually sunburned founder of McAfee Antivirus Software, John McAfee, was found uninstalled from planet Earth in a Spanish prison on Wednesday around 1…
June 23, 2021 6 Must-Have Gaming Accessories That Just Happen to All Be Sold by Our Parent Company 6 Must-Have Gaming Accessories That Just Happen to All Be Sold by Our Parent Company Playing video games with the top-of-the-line technology can be really expensive, but it’s 100% worth every penny of your hard earned cash to buy the…
June 23, 2021 Streamer Buys $1,000 in Audio Equipment so He Can Speak More Clearly Into Yawning Void of Nobody Streamer Buys $1,000 in Audio Equipment so He Can Speak More Clearly Into Yawning Void of Nobody TOLEDO, Ohio — Twitch streamer Sam Dolan has reportedly acquired over $1,000 in professional audiovisual gear, ensuring a clear connection with the gaping vacuum of…
June 23, 2021 Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot ANN ARBOR, Mich. — While saving up to repair his broken gaming PC, local man Josh Quell underwent a transformation from an elite gamer into…
