January 5, 2021 Professor Byleth Struggles to Teach Wyvern Riding Class Remotely Professor Byleth Struggles to Teach Wyvern Riding Class Remotely GARREG MACH — Officers Academy professor Byleth expressed frustration today at the continued restrictions on in-person instruction for their Wyvern Riding class. “I completely understand…
January 2, 2021 Snickering CD Projekt Red Executive Announces Cyberpunk Switch Port Snickering CD Projekt Red Executive Announces Cyberpunk Switch Port WARSAW — Executives at CD Projekt Red couldn’t contain their giggling while announcing an upcoming Cyberpunk 2077 port coming to the Nintendo Switch this year…
December 30, 2020 Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change December is almost over and you know what that means: it’s your last chance to get certain bugs and fish in Animal Crossing: New Horizons…
December 4, 2020 Guy Who Brought Switch to Rooftop Party Disappointed Everybody Just Doing Coke Off It Guy Who Brought Switch to Rooftop Party Disappointed Everybody Just Doing Coke Off It BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Gamer Brian Kology was disappointed after his attempt at livening up a rooftop party by bringing his Nintendo Switch along resulted in…
December 1, 2020 5 Switch Games You Need to Play Before You Die, Which Will Be Soon! 5 Switch Games You Need to Play Before You Die, Which Will Be Soon! The Nintendo Switch has been around for a few years now, but you only have so much time in your life to play all of…
November 26, 2020 Surprise Nintendo Direct Announces That You Can Play ‘Breath of the Wild’ Again Any Time You Want Surprise Nintendo Direct Announces That You Can Play ‘Breath of the Wild’ Again Any Time You Want KYOTO — Startling and delighting fans who had been starved for exciting announcements from the company, Nintendo announced in a surprise Nintendo Direct presentation today…
November 22, 2020 Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Joe Fleming is reportedly worried that Nintendo’s stunning masterpiece Breath of the Wild has ruined any chance that he’ll ever…
November 3, 2020 Animal Crossing Villagers Actually Haven’t Noticed You’ve Been Gone Animal Crossing Villagers Actually Haven’t Noticed You’ve Been Gone DESERTED ISLAND — Villagers on the island you helped populate haven’t noticed your multi-month absence, according to reporters who recently visited. “Steve… Steve. Was he…
October 29, 2020 ‘America Will Look Vastly Different After November,’ Says Man Discussing ‘Hyrule Warriors’ Launch Day ‘America Will Look Vastly Different After November,’ Says Man Discussing ‘Hyrule Warriors’ Launch Day WASHINGTON — Warning his friends and loved ones of the coming weeks and months of uncertainty, local politico Philippe Cruz remarked today that America will…
