May 5, 2021 Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months DESERTED ISLAND — Shaking as he described the terrors that might lie inside, local island resident Lobo warned a group of children that no one…
December 30, 2020 Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change December is almost over and you know what that means: it’s your last chance to get certain bugs and fish in Animal Crossing: New Horizons…
November 3, 2020 Animal Crossing Villagers Actually Haven’t Noticed You’ve Been Gone Animal Crossing Villagers Actually Haven’t Noticed You’ve Been Gone DESERTED ISLAND — Villagers on the island you helped populate haven’t noticed your multi-month absence, according to reporters who recently visited. “Steve… Steve. Was he…
August 9, 2020 Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they have agreed to share joint…
July 4, 2020 Animal Crossing Villagers Freak Out During Fireworks Animal Crossing Villagers Freak Out During Fireworks NORTHERN HEMISPHERE — Chaos erupted during a Fourth of July fireworks celebration held by the animal inhabitants of the newly settled New Texas Island, sources…
June 15, 2020 Despised Animal Crossing Villager Can’t Afford to Move Away Despised Animal Crossing Villager Can’t Afford to Move Away DESERTED ISLAND — Local Animal Crossing villager Ursala has been forced to continue receiving daily harassment on the deserted island she inhabits due to her…
May 26, 2020 Millennial Shares How He Paid Off Home Loan by Scrimping, Saving, and Being Tom Nook’s Adopted Son Timmy Millennial Shares How He Paid Off Home Loan by Scrimping, Saving, and Being Tom Nook’s Adopted Son Timmy Much has been said about millennials’ financial struggles. Many drown in debt while doing little more than hanging out on the beach, hanging out with…
May 19, 2020 Man Playing ‘Animal Crossing’ Shops for Clothes for First Time in 10 Years Man Playing ‘Animal Crossing’ Shops for Clothes for First Time in 10 Years MIDDLEBURY, Vt. — Local gamer Greg Stephens visited the Able Sisters clothing shop this morning to purchase new items for his Animal Crossing character, marking…
May 13, 2020 Timmy and Tommy Nook Arrested for Insider Trading After Selling Turnips to Each Other Timmy and Tommy Nook Arrested for Insider Trading After Selling Turnips to Each Other NEW YORK — Timmy and Tommy Nook, owners and operators of Nook’s Cranny, were arrested for insider trading of turnips this past Thursday, according to…
