February 12, 2022 Due to Ongoing Litigation We Must Refer to This Creature as Speed Weasel Due to Ongoing Litigation We Must Refer to This Creature as Speed Weasel TOKYO 一 As a result of litigation involving Sega Corporation and Paramount Pictures, publications including Hard Drive have been banned from calling Sega’s well-known mascot…
February 4, 2022 Gamer Returns to Neglected Animal Crossing Island to Find Lone Blood-Drenched Villager Gamer Returns to Neglected Animal Crossing Island to Find Lone Blood-Drenched Villager BRAMPTON, Ont. 一 Local college student Emma Singh reportedly fired up her copy of Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the first time in six months,…
February 1, 2022 Stupidly Named Indie Game Would Have Brought You 300 Hours of Joy Stupidly Named Indie Game Would Have Brought You 300 Hours of Joy SAN FRANCISCO 一 An indie game that critics have described as “an addictive combination of combat and charisma” and “the next closest thing to true…
January 31, 2022 How Banjo and Kazooie’s Ethical Non-Monogamy Saved Their Workplace Relationship How Banjo and Kazooie’s Ethical Non-Monogamy Saved Their Workplace Relationship SPIRAL MOUNTAIN 一 Saying that the agreement has helped protect them from past feelings of staleness and frustration in their romantic commitment to one another,…
October 23, 2021 Backstabbing Sociopath Feels Seen by Representation in Loki Backstabbing Sociopath Feels Seen by Representation in Loki NEW YORK — Local backstabbing sociopath Jared Finch reportedly feels represented when he sees Marvel Cinematic Universe character Loki on the big screen and on…
July 9, 2020 Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon a Liberal Hoax Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon a Liberal Hoax CLOCK TOWN — A Termina citizen took to the streets yesterday to denounce the large, ominous moon inching ever closer to the city as “a…
June 26, 2020 Cops Leave Incendiary Red Barrels Near Protest Sites to Incite Violence Cops Leave Incendiary Red Barrels Near Protest Sites to Incite Violence CLEVELAND — Video evidence of police officers leaving incendiary red barrels near protest sites has created controversy online. “The barrels were not meant to incite…
December 18, 2019 Guy Gaming for 17 Hours Decides He’s Doing It For Charity Guy Gaming for 17 Hours Decides He’s Doing It For Charity LUBBOCK, Texas — Local philanthropist and call center operator Ben Walter nobly decided that the whole time he’d been sitting in front of his television,…
July 12, 2019 Man Equips Lvl 4 Gear for Lvl 30 Date Man Equips Lvl 4 Gear for Lvl 30 Date RICHMOND, Va. — Mistakenly assuming that his ordinary equipment would be adequate to see him through the encounter, IT specialist Alejandro Mano, 24, made a…
