August 17, 2021 We Have Decided, As an Editorial Team, to Not Look Up What the ‘Boyfriend Dungeon’ Story Is We Have Decided, As an Editorial Team, to Not Look Up What the ‘Boyfriend Dungeon’ Story Is The video game world is lighting up with hot takes about a new video game titled Boyfriend Dungeon, the importance of artistic integrity, and how…
August 17, 2021 Client Doesn’t Get Why 5-Month Pregnant Artist Can’t Just Release Baby Already Client Doesn’t Get Why 5-Month Pregnant Artist Can’t Just Release Baby Already HENDERSON, Nev. — Local man Albert Nixon is reportedly harassing artist and surrogate mother Annabelle Dotson about when her baby will be born despite Dotson…
August 15, 2021 Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 5 Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 5 KYOTO, Japan — Video game company Nintendo announced today it is just going to skip the highly anticipated Metroid Prime 4 and go right to…
August 14, 2021 Hideaki Anno Releases Final Batch of Evangelion Meme Templates Hideaki Anno Releases Final Batch of Evangelion Meme Templates TOKYO — Japanese animator and filmmaker Hideaki Anno has released the final group of Neon Genesis Evangelion meme templates for shitposters to start working on,…
August 13, 2021 Report: We Also Don’t Make Any Money If You Don’t Click the Fucking Link But We Especially Don’t Make Any Money If You Post the Onion’s Version of This Headline In Our Comments Report: We Also Don’t Make Any Money If You Don’t Click the Fucking Link But We Especially Don’t Make Any Money If You Post the Onion’s Version of This Headline In Our Comments NEW YORK — Informing readers that it was one of the sole means for a digital publication to generate revenue, a report released Sunday indicated…
August 10, 2021 Andrew Cuomo Accepts Leadership Position at Activision Blizzard Andrew Cuomo Accepts Leadership Position at Activision Blizzard NEW YORK — Following his resignation as Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo announced today that he has accepted a leadership position at video game…
August 10, 2021 Nation Comes Together in Moment of Grand Unity Over Feeling Weird and Sad About Chris Chan Nation Comes Together in Moment of Grand Unity Over Feeling Weird and Sad About Chris Chan UNITED STATES — Members of all political parties and allegiances came together in a moment of unity following the arrest of Sonichu creator Chris Chan…
August 9, 2021 Back 4 Blood Zombie Claims He Was Just Saying “Dinger” Back 4 Blood Zombie Claims He Was Just Saying “Dinger” POST-APOCALYPTIC DENVER — A Back 4 Blood zombie accused of saying a horrific racial slur this week now claims that he was actually trying to…
August 9, 2021 Modern-Day Robin Hood Uploads Pokémon Leaf Green to Torrent Website Modern-Day Robin Hood Uploads Pokémon Leaf Green to Torrent Website LONDON — A mysterious heroic figure not unlike Robin Hood, the legendary outlaw from English folklore, has uploaded a torrent of Pokémon Leaf Green to…
