January 24, 2022 Tattoo Parlor Refuses to Do Swastikas, Iron Crosses, Triforces Tattoo Parlor Refuses to Do Swastikas, Iron Crosses, Triforces PARMA, Ohio — Tattoo parlor The Lazy Tiger has announced a controversial ban on several hate symbols and also the Triforce from The Legend of…
January 22, 2022 Podcast Fan Not Sure What to Listen to While Looking for Something to Listen To Podcast Fan Not Sure What to Listen to While Looking for Something to Listen To BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — Local audiophile Tanya Binns has been searching for a podcast to occupy her ears while she desperately looks for a podcast to…
January 22, 2022 Indie Game Takes Inspiration From EarthBound’s Lack of Financial Success Indie Game Takes Inspiration From EarthBound’s Lack of Financial Success TUCSON, Ariz. — Game developer Rodney Jones’ latest title, Infinite Dreamz Are Here 2 Stay, is to be inspired by cult-hit 1994 video game EarthBound,…
January 3, 2022 Despondent Man Has Tried Everything to Get Friends to Try Shenmue Despondent Man Has Tried Everything to Get Friends to Try Shenmue TOLEDO, Ohio — Hopeless Shenmue fanatic Peter Hull has reportedly tried everything in his power to get his friends to play the acclaimed and unfinished…
December 10, 2021 New Buddhism Update Allows Items and Upgrades to Carry Into Next Life New Buddhism Update Allows Items and Upgrades to Carry Into Next Life BEIJING — A new Buddhist doctrine confirms that your earthly possessions and skills will now carry into your new life after death, enlightened sources confirm.…
December 4, 2021 Peter Molyneux Confirms Milo Died Five Years Ago Peter Molyneux Confirms Milo Died Five Years Ago GUILDFORD, U.K. — Famed game director Peter Molyneux, completely unprompted, confirmed to members of the press that Milo, the artificial boy featured in an experimental…
November 24, 2021 Super Smash Bros Ultimate Finally Lets Gamers Imagine “What If Cloud Fought Sephiroth?” Super Smash Bros Ultimate Finally Lets Gamers Imagine “What If Cloud Fought Sephiroth?” TOKYO — Following years of speculation, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate finally allows fans to imagine who would win in a fight between famed video game…
October 14, 2021 Gamer Knows Way Around Midgar Better Than Own Neighborhood Gamer Knows Way Around Midgar Better Than Own Neighborhood GALESBURG, Ill. — Local gamer Brett Gunderson has confirmed that he can navigate through the virtual town of Midgar from Final Fantasy VII better than…
October 14, 2021 PS5 In-Stock at Neighbor’s House PS5 In-Stock at Neighbor’s House YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — New reports confirm that the PlayStation 5 is finally in stock, available for $0.00 (not including burglary supplies), at your neighbor’s…
