December 26, 2021 Townspeople Don’t Have Heart to Tell Protagonist He’s the Fifth Chosen One So Far Townspeople Don’t Have Heart to Tell Protagonist He’s the Fifth Chosen One So Far SMALL VILLAGE JUST OUTSIDE CASTLE WALLS — Neighborhood residents have reportedly decided against telling the most recently prophesied chosen one that he was in fact…
December 24, 2021 Rising Gotham Housing Prices Force the Riddler to Terrorize Cleveland for a While Rising Gotham Housing Prices Force the Riddler to Terrorize Cleveland for a While CLEVELAND — Infamous criminal mastermind The Riddler announced that he was forced to take his word-play inspired capers to Cleveland, Ohio, following the skyrocketing cost…
December 14, 2021 Blatant Rip-Off Described as ‘Love Letter’ Blatant Rip-Off Described as ‘Love Letter’ ST. LOUIS — Indie game Vetroid Mania hit shelves this week, taking the gaming world by storm. The game centers around the fearsome bounty hunter…
December 14, 2021 Gamer Afraid to Use Epipen In Case He Needs It Later Gamer Afraid to Use Epipen In Case He Needs It Later FRESNO, Calif. — Local gamer John Manson was hospitalized after an allergic reaction to shellfish at a Red Lobster Monday night; according to witnesses, Manson…
December 11, 2021 King Solomon Solves SONY/Marvel Spider-Man Dispute By Offering to Cut Tom Holland in Half King Solomon Solves SONY/Marvel Spider-Man Dispute By Offering to Cut Tom Holland in Half JERUSALEM — Biblical icon King Solomon has offered to rectify a dispute between SONY and Marvel by offering to cut Spider-Man star Tom Holland in…
December 10, 2021 ‘Alien’ Porn Parody Posits That in Space Nobody Can Hear You Cream ‘Alien’ Porn Parody Posits That in Space Nobody Can Hear You Cream SAN FRANCISCO — Porn studio FilmFuck has produced a parody film taking inspiration from Ridley Scott’s horror classic Alien entitled ‘Alien ResERECTION,’ which posits the…
December 5, 2021 Fans of Dark Souls Will Love This: They Made a Dark Souls 2 Fans of Dark Souls Will Love This: They Made a Dark Souls 2 Calling all Dark Souls fans! You’ll want to sit down for this: we have uncovered a huge announcement regarding the hit medieval video game, and…
November 24, 2021 Safdie Brothers Sit Down for Incredibly Stressful, Synth-Fueled Thanksgiving Safdie Brothers Sit Down for Incredibly Stressful, Synth-Fueled Thanksgiving NEW YORK — Josh and Benny Safdie, the auteur duo behind films Good Time and Uncut Gems, reportedly returned home this week to enjoy a…
October 12, 2021 The Riddler Busts Out Laptop in Starbucks to Write Another Batch of Riddles The Riddler Busts Out Laptop in Starbucks to Write Another Batch of Riddles GOTHAM — Masked supervillain The Riddler was seen in a Gotham City Starbucks this morning with a laptop, allegedly writing his next batch of riddles…
