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The Riddler Busts Out Laptop in Starbucks to Write Another Batch of Riddles

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GOTHAM — Masked supervillain The Riddler was seen in a Gotham City Starbucks this morning with a laptop, allegedly writing his next batch of riddles for the caped crusader Batman to solve.

ā€œHow else do you think I have all these riddles just on hand? You think I’m improvising this shit?ā€ The Riddler said. ā€œI ran out of all the famous ones like right away, so now I have to put my nose to the grindstone and just crank some out every now and again. I don’t mind, though; I like writing. I find that I just can’t get any writing done in my lair, and I like the coffee shop scene to inspire me. I can usually pick up a hostage or two on the way out, too. I just fire off a couple riddles and then finish my drink and head back to my plotting.ā€

Starbucks barista Lindsay Evanston commented on the criminal’s coffee shop appearances.Ā 

ā€œI’ve seen that guy writing in here a lot, and I usually don’t ask people what they’re working on, but given his question mark spandex suit, green bowler hat, and long gold cane, I wanted to know his deal,ā€ Evanston said. ā€œSome of his riddles are better than others, but I think he’s got some real talent. Except for the pipe bomb he put in the tip jar that one time, he’s been nothing but a polite, ideal customer. The whole staff knows him, and we’re all going out to support him when he dangles a lady off the Gotham court house next month.ā€

Police Commissioner Jim Gordon also weighed in on the criminal sighting.

ā€œI knew he couldn’t have come up with those riddles in the moment. Even if they’re scrawled in blood or on some ransom note, they have to be pre-written,ā€ Commissioner Gordon said. ā€œI wonder what his creative process is? Does he start with the answer and work backwards? I’m hoping he’ll lead a workshop in Arkham or something, or maybe at least have coffee with me so I can pick his brain, test out a few riddles I’ve written and give me notes, that sort of thing.ā€

At press time, The Riddler swore revenge against Batman, as soon as he could retrieve his google doc account with all his riddles on it.