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Townspeople Don’t Have Heart to Tell Protagonist He’s the Fifth Chosen One So Far


SMALL VILLAGE JUST OUTSIDE CASTLE WALLS — Neighborhood residents have reportedly decided against telling the most recently prophesied chosen one that he was in fact the fifth one so far, timid villagers have reported. 

“Yeah, we thought about it and discussed it for a very long time,” said Revin Nimberhoof, the owner and operator of the village’s lone inn. “And to be honest, we almost did tell him. Then he burst into the room we were all in with his armor on for the first time and he was swinging his sword around, and he just seemed so into it. None of us could look that boy in the eye and tell him. I’m just an Innkeeper man, I don’t know how to tell a child he’s about to be skinned by the Dark Lord.”

Others in town felt that anything less than warning the kid of his fate was a display of cowardice. 

“Shame on us, shame on every one of us,” said Mr. Lillywhite, the owner and operator of the only shop in town. “These chosen ones come in, we translate the markings on their sword that reveals they’re the chosen one, we sell them armor and potions and tell them all about our town’s history, and then we leave out the most important part. On the other hand, the traveling protagonist industry keeps a lot of us in business, so there is a conflict of interest there, no one is doubting that. Not that many people are buying potions in this town, don’t get me wrong. Even so, that kid doesn’t stand a chance out there, man. We can’t keep doing this.” 

Despite the seemingly insurmountable odds facing him, the local hero seemed to be in positive spirits immediately before embarking on his fateful, coming-of-age voyage. 

“I’m gonna be a hero,” said the wide-eyed adventurer, who seemed like he was 15 or 16, tops. “I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to feel like I’m doing something important, and I think I’ve finally realized what that is; to use this sword I found to slay the Dark Lord and bring peace to this village. Everyone in town seems to nod and agree with me when I say that I think this is my chosen destiny. At the very least, no one has told me I am wrong. Here we go! Save a bed for me at the Inn, cuz I bet I’ll be pretty tired when I come back!” 

As of press time, a new eager, young child had entered town with a sword that he had found, seeking to have the strange markings on it translated.