November 21, 2019 BREAKING: Baby Yoda Has Died BREAKING: Baby Yoda Has Died MATMATA, Tunisia — Close sources from within The Mandalorian production team solemnly reported today that breakout star Baby Yoda died while filming on location in…
November 16, 2019 George Lucas’ Daughter Furious After Discovering Special Edition of High School Graduation Video George Lucas’ Daughter Furious After Discovering Special Edition of High School Graduation Video SAN FRANCISCO — Amanda Lucas, daughter of Star Wars creator George Lucas, was reportedly enraged after discovering that her father had made unsolicited changes to…
November 13, 2019 Fans Upset After Disney+ Changes Classic ‘Simpsons’ Scene to Make It Look Like Mr. Burns Shot Maggie First Fans Upset After Disney+ Changes Classic ‘Simpsons’ Scene to Make It Look Like Mr. Burns Shot Maggie First NEW YORK — In an unfortunate mishandling of the beloved franchise, fans across the internet expressed their disappointment earlier today that Disney’s new Disney+ streaming…
August 30, 2019 Final ‘Star Wars’ Film Brings Aging Gatekeeper Out of Retirement for One Last Scold Final ‘Star Wars’ Film Brings Aging Gatekeeper Out of Retirement for One Last Scold OMAHA, Neb. — Following the release of new footage from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker at the D23 Expo, longtime gatekeeper Doug Michalski, 54,…
August 3, 2019 Adult Man Walks Past LEGO Aisle a Little Bit Slower Adult Man Walks Past LEGO Aisle a Little Bit Slower MANAHAWKIN, N.J. — Local adult Sam McGrath spent two seconds shooting a brief, wistful glance down the LEGO aisle of a Stafford Target store before…
July 20, 2019 Mark Hamill Cosplayer Spends Entire Convention on Twitter Mark Hamill Cosplayer Spends Entire Convention on Twitter SAN DIEGO — A devoted Mark Hamill impersonator has reportedly spent the entirety of this weekend’s San Diego Comic Con using Twitter, refusing to break…
June 24, 2019 Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge Features Incredibly Lifelike Rian Johnson for Fans to Yell At Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge Features Incredibly Lifelike Rian Johnson for Fans to Yell At ORLANDO, Fla. — Alongside its life-size Millennium Falcon and replica lightsabers for purchase, Disney revealed that its new Star Wars-themed section of Disneyworld will also…
February 22, 2019 Star Wars Universe Expanding Slower Than Scientists Initially Thought Star Wars Universe Expanding Slower Than Scientists Initially Thought SAN FRANCISCO — A group of scientists have released new findings that reveal that the Star Wars universe is expanding much more slowly than experts…
January 2, 2019 RANKED: The Top 1 Giant Space Worms in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back RANKED: The Top 1 Giant Space Worms in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back The Star Wars fandom is full of debates. Did Han or Greedo shoot first? Are Ewoks cute or annoying kid shit? Is The Last Jedi…
