January 20, 2020 Pikachu Overcome by Own Mortality Realizing He Will One Day Die and Become Duskull Pikachu Overcome by Own Mortality Realizing He Will One Day Die and Become Duskull JOHTO — Contemplating its afterlife for the first time in his life following a fierce battle, a local Pikachu fell silent with the thought that…
January 11, 2020 Nation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth Catching Nation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth Catching CEDAR RAPIDS, Mich. — After months of deliberation during a contentious Democratic primary, voters are beginning to wonder whether a Normal-type Presidential candidate is even…
January 10, 2020 CDC Warns Pokémania Much More Dangerous When Contracted as an Adult CDC Warns Pokémania Much More Dangerous When Contracted as an Adult ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is warning citizens about the dangers of contracting Pokémania as an adult, which can be more…
January 7, 2020 Game Freak Confirms That Pokéball is Short for ‘Pocket Ball’ Game Freak Confirms That Pokéball is Short for ‘Pocket Ball’ TOKYO — Putting years of speculation by the Pokémon fan community to rest, Game Freak team lead Shigeru Ohmori confirmed to members of the press…
December 16, 2019 Opinion: How the Fuck Am I a Normal Type Pokémon? Opinion: How the Fuck Am I a Normal Type Pokémon? What does the word “normal” mean to you? Is it plain? Regular? What springs to mind when you think of it? I bet you picture…
December 15, 2019 Pokémon Is Kind of Fucked Up If You Think About It Pokémon Is Kind of Fucked Up If You Think About It A lot of people don’t realize this, but if you think about it — and I mean really think about it — these Pokémon games…
November 28, 2019 Macy’s Under Fire For Reusing Last Year’s Pikachu Balloon in 2019 Thanksgiving Day Parade Macy’s Under Fire For Reusing Last Year’s Pikachu Balloon in 2019 Thanksgiving Day Parade NEW YORK — Macy’s is under intense scrutiny by eagle-eyed fans who discovered that the Pikachu balloon used in their 2019 Thanksgiving Day Parade is…
November 22, 2019 No Need to Worry: Pokéball Head Guy Has Loving Family, Devoted Husband, and Three Incredible Children No Need to Worry: Pokéball Head Guy Has Loving Family, Devoted Husband, and Three Incredible Children We all love the Pokéball Head Guy, the guy who follows trainers around from gym to gym in the Galar region and gives out free…
November 15, 2019 Pokémon Trainer Dad Suddenly Remembers Kids Are at Day Care After Four Months Pokémon Trainer Dad Suddenly Remembers Kids Are at Day Care After Four Months DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Pokémon trainer Dan Whitworth realized early this morning that two of his children were still at Morningside Child Care Center.…
