Tagsditto, normal, pokemon, type
What does the word “normal” mean to you? Is it plain? Regular? What springs to mind when you think of it? I bet you picture stuff you see every single day, like a coffee cup, maybe. Or a roll of masking tape. Whatever your definition of “normal,” I can guarantee that encountering a sentient blob of DNA jelly that can transform into anything it sees would not be “normal” to you. So why the fuck am I a normal type Pokémon?
Let’s take a look at some other normal Pokémon. Pidgey is a bird. That’s it. It’s a fucking plain-ass bird, like a pigeon. So they called it Pidgey. That’s normal as hell. Rattata? That’s just a rat. Their evolutions? Just bigger birds and rats. They’re just growing up, like normal animals. Me? I’m born a blob, but whenever I feel like it I can change my DNA to be anything I want. I can even change into a fucking rock. How am I in the same class as these basic-ass Pokémon?
I have put up with this injustice for long enough.
I am taking a stand and demanding to no longer be a normal type Pokémon. Frankly, it’s insulting. I am infinitely more valuable than these stupid woodland creature Pokémon. I could even turn into an Arceus, which is a literal God, yet also classified as a “normal’ type. Arceus and I are literal reality-warping super beings that defy everything that you understand about the universe, and you think we’re in the same class as a fucking rat? Not even close.
Hell, I’ve turned into people. Listen to me — I can become a man. I, a ditto, can become an adult man. I can live a whole life as a human being, going to work day in and day out, falling in love, writing taxes, all while secretly being a glob of purple nothing. You think that shit’s normal?
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to fuck every Pokémon in this daycare, because I can breed with every Pokémon as well. You know, just “normal” shit.
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