June 28, 2021 iPhone Game’s Final Boss Just a Big Gem You Buy iPhone Game’s Final Boss Just a Big Gem You Buy DOVER, Ohio — Players of the lengthy iPhone game Mythic Hero Quest Legends have reported that the final boss is just a great big gem you…
March 26, 2021 Man’s Cell Phone Disagrees That Alexa Is Listening to Him Man’s Cell Phone Disagrees That Alexa Is Listening to Him VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — A local man’s iPhone disagrees with its owner that his Amazon Alexa is listening to him in his home, sending information…
October 22, 2020 Tim Cook Announces “We Decided to Make the iPhone Worse This Time” Tim Cook Announces “We Decided to Make the iPhone Worse This Time” CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook astonished Silicon Valley with a promise to disregard customers’ high expectations at this week’s iPhone press event. “Every…
August 16, 2020 Gamers Riot in Streets to Ensure Epic Gets Better Revenue Sharing Deal With Apple Gamers Riot in Streets to Ensure Epic Gets Better Revenue Sharing Deal With Apple SEATTLE — In response to the escalating tension between Apple and Epic, masses of angry gamers have taken to the streets to show support for…
August 16, 2020 John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video LOS ANGELES — Epic Games has furthered their legal battle with Apple by releasing a video featuring John Hodgman and Justin Long reprising their roles…
June 3, 2019 New Apple iLadder Lets You Look Down on Your Poor Friends New Apple iLadder Lets You Look Down on Your Poor Friends CUPERTINO, Calif. — During his WWDC keynote speech this morning, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced the iLadder, a new product designed to allow customers of…
December 20, 2018 Android User Added to Group Chat Better Be One Funny Motherfucker Android User Added to Group Chat Better Be One Funny Motherfucker REDMOND, Wash. — Samsung Galaxy S9 owner Keith Anderson was added to what was previously an iMessage group chat last night. According to close sources,…
