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John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video


app, apple, commercial, epic, fortnite, iphone, john hodgman, justin long, mac and pc

LOS ANGELES — Epic Games has furthered their legal battle with Apple by releasing a video featuring John Hodgman and Justin Long reprising their roles as Mac and PC in which Hodgman beats the shit out Long.

“I’m a Mac,” says the casually dressed Justin Long in the new video just before Hodgman, in formal wear, replies, “And I’m a PC. That means I’m not created by a company that hates Fortnite.” He then reveals a baseball bat and slams it into Long’s gut, causing him to barrel over.

Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney said that the Fortnite team has been trying to turn the disagreement between the two companies into something a little more fun for fans.

“First and foremost, we wanted to make sure that the video was funny. Fans should have fun watching our content!” Sweeney explained. “Secondly, however, we want to remind our fans that they have to pick a side. This is a war. You cannot sit idly by and you definitely can’t support Apple, right? Now, am I saying we’re going to beat you down with a baseball bat if you’re not on #TeamEpic? Of course not. But I’m also not not saying it either.”

Despite the popularity of the video, Apple CEO Tim Cook insists that fans should remain firmly on the Apple side of the battle.

“I thought the video was really cute. I think everyone knows this is just a friendly disagreement between our two corporations,” Cook said. “And everyone also knows that they should stay on the Apple side of things, lest they face the consequences. No one wants to be a social monster, cast aside by their friends and family, when they show up in text messages with a green bubble just because they thought they could side with Fortnite. So let’s all just have some fun and take a moment to remember who really has the power here.”

At press time, millions of children across the world, realizing Fortnite had been removed from their iPhones, opened up their Minecraft app.

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