May 13, 2021 Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists NEW YORK — Residents of Earth 616’s New York City are reportedly wary of a new COVID-19 vaccine that was created by the top scientists…
May 3, 2021 Bill and Melinda Gates Split Up In Fiery Argument Over Best Way to Prevent Poor Countries From Getting Vaccines Bill and Melinda Gates Split Up In Fiery Argument Over Best Way to Prevent Poor Countries From Getting Vaccines SEATTLE — Business owners and philanthropists Bill and Melinda Gates have announced that they are divorcing after 27 years of marriage after an irreconcilable disagreement…
April 30, 2021 Nation Hooked on New In-Browser Clicker Game Nation Hooked on New In-Browser Clicker Game WASHINGTON — Americans are all flocking to a new clicker game hosted on the CVS website entitled Schedule Your COVID Vaccine Appointment, in which players…
April 25, 2021 Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen SILENT HILL, Maine — The Silent Hill city council has decided that their numerous decaying schools and decrepit amusement parks will be reopened to the…
April 16, 2021 U.S. Government Reaches Agreement With Wario64 to Announce COVID Vaccine Availability U.S. Government Reaches Agreement With Wario64 to Announce COVID Vaccine Availability WASHINGTON — The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reached an agreement with popular video game deals twitter account Wario64 to announce…
December 22, 2020 COVID Surge Pushes Local Medical Center Over Maximum Capacity of Six COVID Surge Pushes Local Medical Center Over Maximum Capacity of Six KANTO — Recent surges of coronavirus have taxed local medical centers, pushing one facility to the edge of overflow by filling all six slots at…
November 29, 2020 Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport, several sources close to the…
November 26, 2020 COVID-19 Gears Up for Another Double-XP Weekend COVID-19 Gears Up for Another Double-XP Weekend ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up for yet another Double-XP Weekend,…
November 12, 2020 CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying a Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying a Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health crisis, virologists at the CDC…
