January 10, 2021 Opinion: We Must Redistribute the Banana Wealth in This Donkey Kong Country Opinion: We Must Redistribute the Banana Wealth in This Donkey Kong Country Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do you feel that you have…
October 30, 2020 U.S. Announces Plan to Withdraw All Troops from Donkey Kong Country by Christmas U.S. Announces Plan to Withdraw All Troops from Donkey Kong Country by Christmas WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump took to Twitter last night to announce that all American forces currently serving overseas in Donkey Kong Country are expected…
August 15, 2020 Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass the rigors of higher education,…
April 21, 2020 Price of Barrel With Diddy Kong Stuffed Inside Reaches All Time Low Price of Barrel With Diddy Kong Stuffed Inside Reaches All Time Low DONKEY KONG ISLAND — The price of a wooden barrel containing Diddy Kong, beloved friend and sidekick of Donkey Kong, has plummeted to an all…
