June 7, 2021 Confused LARPer Unsure Why Everyone Here Is Same Class and Race Confused LARPer Unsure Why Everyone Here Is Same Class and Race PARIS, Texas — Local payroll advisor and fantasy enthusiast Richard Corben found himself confused this past weekend when he noticed every other attendee at his…
May 17, 2021 Biden Has Aides Tattoo Legislature Plans on Body Biden Has Aides Tattoo Legislature Plans on Body WASHINGTON — Drawing inspiration from the Christopher Nolan film Memento, President Joe Biden announced today that he has enlisted aides to tattoo his legislature plans…
May 15, 2021 IGN Switzerland Announces They Are Staying Neutral in Battle Between IGN America and IGN Israel IGN Switzerland Announces They Are Staying Neutral in Battle Between IGN America and IGN Israel ZÜRICH — After the American IGN published an article Saturday morning with ways to help Palestinians in the wake of an Israeli invasion and IGN…
May 14, 2021 Mass Shootings Drop to 0 After Congress Increases Minimum Death Requirement to 1,000 Mass Shootings Drop to 0 After Congress Increases Minimum Death Requirement to 1,000 WASHINGTON — Democrats and Republicans in the Senate voted unanimously today on a bill that raises the minimum number of deaths required for something to…
May 12, 2021 New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians a Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians a Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage NEW YORK — Grand Theft Auto 5 is getting a new Israel-themed game mode that gives tiny pocket knives to pedestrians, meaning you can murder…
April 19, 2021 Wealthy Cannibal Conflicted on “Eat the Rich” Wealthy Cannibal Conflicted on “Eat the Rich” TUCSON, Ariz. — Local cannibal Stewart Loarfy is reportedly conflicted about the rise of “eat the rich” sentiments on account of his massive wealth, according…
April 12, 2021 Andrew Yang Proposes to Sell New York City as NFT to Raise Money for Police Department Andrew Yang Proposes to Sell New York City as NFT to Raise Money for Police Department NEW YORK — New York City mayoral candidate Andrew Yang announced today that, if elected, he will list the city to be sold as an…
March 25, 2021 Even Conspiracy Theorist Kinda Surprised How Right He’s Been Lately Even Conspiracy Theorist Kinda Surprised How Right He’s Been Lately LAS VEGAS — Conspiracy theorist Andrew Hawkins has recently been taken aback by how much he has gotten right in the last few years, according…
February 15, 2021 New ‘Assassin’s Creed’ to Be Set in Ancient Era When Donald Trump Was President New ‘Assassin’s Creed’ to Be Set in Ancient Era When Donald Trump Was President MONTREAL — Following the success of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, Ubisoft hinted that their next game would delve further into history than ever before, taking place…
