January 5, 2022 Skipping 30 Second Ad in Podcast Becomes 2 Minute Ordeal Skipping 30 Second Ad in Podcast Becomes 2 Minute Ordeal NEW YORK — An attempt to quickly pass over a thirty second ad in the middle of a podcast recently spiraled into a several minute…
January 4, 2022 Late Night Trip to Fridge Derailed By Enemy Who Wasn’t There During Daytime Late Night Trip to Fridge Derailed By Enemy Who Wasn’t There During Daytime TOLUCA LAKE, Calif. — After moving to a new home and before learning its spawn points, local woman Janice Dramps was accosted in her kitchen…
January 4, 2022 BREAKING: Shadow The Hedgehog Has Died During Childbirth BREAKING: Shadow The Hedgehog Has Died During Childbirth CENTRAL CITY — Tragedy struck earlier this morning as motorcycle enthusiast and self-proclaimed ultimate life form Shadow the Hedgehog passed away unexpectedly due to complications…
January 3, 2022 Matt Mercer Spends 45 Minutes Describing Sandwich Smell to Waiter Matt Mercer Spends 45 Minutes Describing Sandwich Smell to Waiter LOS ANGELES — Legendary Dungeon Master and part-time Wyrmwood spokesman Matt Mercer made a splash at a local restaurant this week when he described his…
January 3, 2022 Sega Announces They Will Be Using Fan-Game Creators to Develop New Sonic Lawsuit Sega Announces They Will Be Using Fan-Game Creators to Develop New Sonic Lawsuit SAN FRANCISCO — Sega announced today that, after a down-period of creativity in its staple Sonic franchise, the company will be reaching out to fan…
January 3, 2022 DEAL ALERT: This Dumb Grieving Mother Is Selling Her Deceased Son’s Pokémon Cards for Like Barely Anything DEAL ALERT: This Dumb Grieving Mother Is Selling Her Deceased Son’s Pokémon Cards for Like Barely Anything Oh shit Pokémon fans, we have the deal of the century for you! If you’re looking for some sick cards on the cheapo, local grieving…
January 3, 2022 Despondent Man Has Tried Everything to Get Friends to Try Shenmue Despondent Man Has Tried Everything to Get Friends to Try Shenmue TOLEDO, Ohio — Hopeless Shenmue fanatic Peter Hull has reportedly tried everything in his power to get his friends to play the acclaimed and unfinished…
January 1, 2022 Makers of Jumanji Settle $729 Billion Class Action Lawsuit Makers of Jumanji Settle $729 Billion Class Action Lawsuit BRANTFORD, N.H. — A spokesperson for the plaintiffs in the years-long class action suit against the makers of the classic board game Jumanji announced today…
January 1, 2022 Superheroes Unsure Where to Fight After City Cleans Up Scaffolding Superheroes Unsure Where to Fight After City Cleans Up Scaffolding NEW YORK — Superheroes and supervillains were left with nowhere to battle after New York City officials finally cleaned up all the scaffolding around buildings…
