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Matt Mercer Spends 45 Minutes Describing Sandwich Smell to Waiter

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LOS ANGELES ā€” Legendary Dungeon Master and part-time Wyrmwood spokesman Matt Mercer made a splash at a local restaurant this week when he described his ideal sub aroma in excruciatingly vivid detail for nearly an hour straight, enraptured witnesses have reported.

ā€œHe went deep into his mind palace to describe the decedent wafting of freshly melted cheese, and the waiter was transported into a world of pure imagination,ā€ said local diner Jack Brakkow, who immediately cancelled his own order to ask for whatever it was that Mercer was describing instead. ā€œI caught myself questioning the mechanics of the sandwich a few times when he started mentioning frosting, tater tots and a fifth slice of bread, but the way his words flowed had us all mesmerized.ā€Ā 

As delightful and detailed as the scene was. not everyone present was the biggest fan of the culinary narration.Ā 

ā€œYeah, he does this kinda thing a lot,ā€ explained Marisha Ray, Mattā€™s wife and frequent collaborator. ā€œLast week we went to get an oil change and he kept going on to the mechanic about ā€˜black ichor coursing through mechanical veinsā€™ while producing frighteningly accurate dripping sounds with his mouth. Heā€™s so fucking talented, but at a point itā€™s like, dude, can you just let people do their jobs?ā€

ā€œIt really brightened my day,ā€ said the waiter, Nadine Klein. ā€œI just wish it hadnā€™t inspired all of our other customers to try and copy his ordering technique. Everyone describes food in their own way, you donā€™t need to copy a particular performance style to order a unique, tasty sandwich. I wish more people would realize that. Also stop pronouncing the number nine so weird when going through the menu, itā€™s really annoying without context.ā€

Sources say that Mercer prevented further disruption to the eveningā€™s events once his deliciously described food had arrived by standing up his menu like a dungeon masterā€™s screen to block other patrons from seeing what was on his plate.