June 12, 2021 Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty Sleeves Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty Sleeves EVANSTON, Ill. — 28-year-old bartender Grace Federman reportedly discovered several empty sleeves in her retirement portfolio after going through the Pokémon cards in her parents’…
June 12, 2021 Exhausted Fan Game Developer Prays Nintendo Sends Cease and Desist Soon Exhausted Fan Game Developer Prays Nintendo Sends Cease and Desist Soon LOS ANGELES — Paul Moreno, the lone developer for a dating simulator game based on Nintendo’s popular Zelda franchise, once again asked God to please…
June 10, 2021 Yoshi Okay Living Like This Yoshi Okay Living Like This DINOSAUR LAND — The perennial member of the Mario Bros clique is reportedly still content to eat and sleep in a house made of three…
June 9, 2021 Downtrodden Golduck Puts on Belt and Jorts for Second Job as Digimon Downtrodden Golduck Puts on Belt and Jorts for Second Job as Digimon SAFFRON CITY, Kanto — Longtime Nintendo employee and anthropomorphic bipedal duck Golduck has recently begun moonlighting as a Digimon to make ends meet. “When the…
June 7, 2021 9-Year-Old Can’t Wait to Find Out What Fucked Up Shit Is in Game Rated E10+ 9-Year-Old Can’t Wait to Find Out What Fucked Up Shit Is in Game Rated E10+ SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Local 9-year-old Simon Fisher is reportedly going out of his fucking mind right now imagining all the fucked up shit that…
June 2, 2021 Who Reviews the Reviewers? Why We’re Adding Polls to the Bottom of Our Reviews to Let Our Writers Know If They’re Right or Wrong Who Reviews the Reviewers? Why We’re Adding Polls to the Bottom of Our Reviews to Let Our Writers Know If They’re Right or Wrong Video game reviews are the backbone of the gaming industry, but why is it that only the so-called journalists hold all the power in deciding…
May 27, 2021 GameStop to Start Accepting Trade-In Items That Drop From Guys You Kill GameStop to Start Accepting Trade-In Items That Drop From Guys You Kill GRAPEVINE, Texas — GameStop announced today that it is expanding its trade-in program from used video games to weapons, armor, and anything else that drops…
May 26, 2021 New Historical Evidence Shows People Once Played Video Games for Fun New Historical Evidence Shows People Once Played Video Games for Fun UPPER DARBY, Pa. — Historians and anthropologists from around the globe are clamoring as a Pennsylvania middle school time capsule from the 1980s has revealed…
May 21, 2021 Yoshi Game Just a Little Too Obviously for Children Yoshi Game Just a Little Too Obviously for Children KETTERING, Ohio — Less than an hour into playing her new copy of Yoshi’s Crafted World, local gamer Maureen Teague was disappointed to realize that…
