December 31, 2019 Anime Fan Transfers to New University After Accidentally Calling Professor ‘Nee-San’ Anime Fan Transfers to New University After Accidentally Calling Professor ‘Nee-San’ SILVER CITY, N.M. — Former Columbia University law student Brendan Stack recently transferred to Western New Mexico University, fleeing the embarrassment of having accidentally called…
December 30, 2019 Noble Paladin With Lovingly Written 8-Page Backstory Dies Twenty Minutes Into Adventure Noble Paladin With Lovingly Written 8-Page Backstory Dies Twenty Minutes Into Adventure ST. PAUL, Minn. — First time Dungeons & Dragons player Craig Walcott was shocked when his Half-Elf Paladin, Sur Swenstance Silverheart III, Noble Son of…
December 25, 2019 TBS Switches Things Up and Plays ‘A Christmas Story’ Once at .065 Speed TBS Switches Things Up and Plays ‘A Christmas Story’ Once at .065 Speed ATLANTA — TBS has opted to air seminal holiday film A Christmas Story one time at .065 its normal running speed today, letting the movie…
December 25, 2019 Opinion: All 172 Episodes of ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ Are a Christmas Movie Opinion: All 172 Episodes of ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ Are a Christmas Movie Another holiday season is upon us and with it comes the yearly internet argument about whether or not all 7,740 hours of the landmark science…
December 24, 2019 Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games LAUSANNE, Switzerland — The International Olympic Committee announced this morning that the Executive Board had officially approved the 200m Naruto run, a surprise addition to…
December 23, 2019 With ‘Knives Out,’ Rian Johnson Finally Bounces Back From Critically Acclaimed, Billion Dollar ‘The Last Jedi’ With ‘Knives Out,’ Rian Johnson Finally Bounces Back From Critically Acclaimed, Billion Dollar ‘The Last Jedi’ LOS ANGELES — With murder mystery Knives Out, Rian Johnson appears to have finally rebounded from making the highest grossing movie of 2017, Star Wars:…
December 19, 2019 Pottermore Update Requires Picture of Genitals Before Confirming Gender Pottermore Update Requires Picture of Genitals Before Confirming Gender LONDON — A recent Pottermore update will now require users to upload pictures of their genitals in order to confirm their gender at the behest…
December 18, 2019 Office Worker Doesn’t Notice He’s in ‘Groundhog Day’ Time Loop For Two Whole Weeks Office Worker Doesn’t Notice He’s in ‘Groundhog Day’ Time Loop For Two Whole Weeks TAMPA, Fla. — Local data entry clerk Frank Richmond, 27, was reportedly released from a Groundhog Day-esque time loop, which he claims to have not…
December 17, 2019 Simpsons-Themed Monopoly Game Only Fun for 10 or 11 Turns Simpsons-Themed Monopoly Game Only Fun for 10 or 11 Turns ALPENA, Mich. — A recent game of a Simpsons themed version of the classic board game Monopoly only proved to be fun for the first…
