June 27, 2021 Guy Attempting to Break Guinness Record for Eating Baseballs Under False Impression That Is a Thing Guy Attempting to Break Guinness Record for Eating Baseballs Under False Impression That Is a Thing NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Local resident Denny Houser has attempted to enter the annals of history by achieving the world record for eating baseballs in 60…
June 27, 2021 Man Who’s Read 200 Books This Year Counts Graphic Novels Man Who’s Read 200 Books This Year Counts Graphic Novels NEW YORK — Steven Lloyd, a man who has allegedly read 200 books this year, includes graphic novels in his loose definition of what constitutes…
June 27, 2021 Opinion: You Could Never Make ‘Friends’ Today Because I Would Stop You Opinion: You Could Never Make ‘Friends’ Today Because I Would Stop You As culture progresses, it is no surprise that some media products fail to stand the test of time. Things that may have been acceptable to…
June 26, 2021 Disney+ Announces ‘Young Baby Yoda’ Spin-Off Disney+ Announces ‘Young Baby Yoda’ Spin-Off LOS ANGELES — Following the recent successes of sitcoms like Young Sheldon and Young Rock, the Disney Plus streaming service has officially announced its newest…
June 26, 2021 Universal Confirms ‘COVID-19’ Will Join the Family in Fast & Furious 10 After Being Villain of F9 Universal Confirms ‘COVID-19’ Will Join the Family in Fast & Furious 10 After Being Villain of F9 UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. — Universal Pictures has confirmed that the 10th film in the “Fast Saga” will prominently feature the COVID-19 pandemic as part of…
June 26, 2021 Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It I’m not normally vocal about the public affairs of Gotham. My place is the private sector and I’m just a random businessman. While I don’t…
June 25, 2021 Jedi Apologizes and Agrees to Attend Counseling After Explaining He Thought Red Lightsaber ‘Just Looked Cooler’ Jedi Apologizes and Agrees to Attend Counseling After Explaining He Thought Red Lightsaber ‘Just Looked Cooler’ CORUSCANT — Local Jedi Knight Randor Holobon says he regrets showing up to a routine peace-keeping mission wielding a red lightsaber, in what many have…
June 24, 2021 Anime Character Brings a Knifegun to a Gunknife Fight Anime Character Brings a Knifegun to a Gunknife Fight NEO-TOKYO, Japan — Local anime hero Katsu Ichiro suffered a brutal defeat in a showdown with his nemesis Count Nakamura after he foolishly brought a…
June 23, 2021 Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People LOS ANGELES — The wealthy owners of the most popular television networks and streaming services have previewed their fall slate of new shows, and among…
