January 28, 2022 Sony Suggests Putting Crash Bandicoot in the Middle and Letting Him Choose Which Company He Wants to Go To Sony Suggests Putting Crash Bandicoot in the Middle and Letting Him Choose Which Company He Wants to Go To SAN MATEO, Calif. — In response to Microsoft’s recent acquisition of Activision-Blizzard, Sony Interactive Entertainment CEO Jim Ryan suggested that beloved video game protagonist Crash…
January 17, 2022 Employees Urged to Keep Working After T-Virus Exposure Unless They Have Giant Eyeball Growing Out of Their Shoulder Employees Urged to Keep Working After T-Virus Exposure Unless They Have Giant Eyeball Growing Out of Their Shoulder RACCOON CITY — The Raccoon City Health Department (RCHD) recently advised employees exposed to the rapidly spreading T-Virus to continue reporting for work, unless their…
December 20, 2021 Girlfriend Maxes Out Bed’s Inventory Limit Girlfriend Maxes Out Bed’s Inventory Limit BEDFORD, Mass. — Local gamer Keith Dickey reportedly attempted to slot himself into his bed’s inventory only to find that his girlfriend, Sarah Young, had…
August 12, 2021 Black Mirror Episode Set in the Stone Age Warns Audience of the Dangers of the Wheel Black Mirror Episode Set in the Stone Age Warns Audience of the Dangers of the Wheel LONDON — Charlie Brooker, creator of Netflix’s Black Mirror, announced a special one-off episode of the popular sci-fi anthology television series set in the Stone…
August 6, 2021 Gamer Living Through the Purge Launches Nintendo ROM Site Gamer Living Through the Purge Launches Nintendo ROM Site LOS ANGELES — Local gamer Alex Thorne, who is currently living through a period called the Purge in which all crime is legal, took advantage…
December 12, 2020 Gamer Who Bought Entire Trilogy on Sale Quits Halfway Through First Game Gamer Who Bought Entire Trilogy on Sale Quits Halfway Through First Game DES PLAINES, Ill. — Local gamer James Johnson, who recently purchased the Assassin’s Creed: Ezio Trilogy collection, has reportedly quit halfway through the first entry,…
November 12, 2020 GameStop Offers $7.25 Trade-In Credit for Hour of Employee’s Life GameStop Offers $7.25 Trade-In Credit for Hour of Employee’s Life GRAPEVINE, Texas — After careful consideration of its market value, a local GameStop location offered recently hired employee Rob Lindsey $7.25 trade-in credit in exchange…
November 3, 2020 Gamer Buys Both Nate Silver and Nate Gold Versions to Get Full Results Gamer Buys Both Nate Silver and Nate Gold Versions to Get Full Results ERIE, Pa. — Local gamer Glenn Rice reportedly purchased both Nate Silver and Nate Gold versions of the 2020 presidential election forecast in order to…
October 6, 2020 Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths WESTEROS — Following an exhaustive contact tracing study, a recent Riverlands wedding has been linked to 3,500 deaths, sources report. “The band had just finished…
