February 4, 2022 Paramount Urges Teens Not to Try Watching New Jackass Movie at Home Paramount Urges Teens Not to Try Watching New Jackass Movie at Home LOS ANGELES — Paramount executives have issued a disclaimer surrounding their upcoming sequel Jackass Forever urging fans of the franchise to be responsible and under…
February 3, 2022 New Batman Prequel to Focus on Bruce Wayne’s Parents Getting Really Into Theatre New Batman Prequel to Focus on Bruce Wayne’s Parents Getting Really Into Theatre LOS ANGELES — With the Caped Crusader’s latest cinematic reimagining, The Batman, hitting theaters next month, Warner Bros. has announced their next take on the…
January 31, 2022 What Does the Sony/Bungie Deal Mean for Me, a Weird Guy Who Still Just Plays Geometry Wars? What Does the Sony/Bungie Deal Mean for Me, a Weird Guy Who Still Just Plays Geometry Wars? Hello gamer! I’m sure you’ve heard the big news of the day. Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda for a zillion dollars, today Sony has purchased…
January 28, 2022 Experts Predict That Weapon Drop Is Coming Any Minute Now Experts Predict That Weapon Drop Is Coming Any Minute Now THE SHRINKING ZONE OF SAFETY — A group of scientists has posited a theory that not only is our civilization in actuality a computer simulation…
January 27, 2022 River City Police Finally Take Down High Profile Girlfriend Kidnapping Ring River City Police Finally Take Down High Profile Girlfriend Kidnapping Ring RIVER CITY — Local police believe they have finally thwarted the crime ring that has seen dozens of local high school girlfriends get kidnapped over…
January 26, 2022 HBO’s ‘Sad People Fuck’ Renewed for Second Season HBO’s ‘Sad People Fuck’ Renewed for Second Season NEW YORK — Last fall’s breakthrough hit Sad People Fuck has been renewed by HBO for a second season to premiere later this year, sources…
January 25, 2022 Link Refuses to Talk to Police About Robbery He Witnessed Link Refuses to Talk to Police About Robbery He Witnessed KAKARIKO VILLAGE — Local folk hero and adventurer Link has garnered the support of his community after refusing to speak with local police about a…
January 22, 2022 Wario64 Tweets Disturbing Link to Affordable Craigslist Hitman Wario64 Tweets Disturbing Link to Affordable Craigslist Hitman SAN FRANCISCO — Popular video game deal aggregator Twitter account Wario64 has linked to their most disturbing sale yet: a posting on craigslist for a…
January 19, 2022 Rockstar Updates Red Dead Online to Include Tumbleweeds Blowing Through Abandoned Servers Rockstar Updates Red Dead Online to Include Tumbleweeds Blowing Through Abandoned Servers NEW YORK — Rockstar Games has answered fans’ pleas and finally made a substantial addition to its Red Dead Online game following months of inactivity:…
