Kyle Sekaquaptewa

Kyle Sekaquaptewa

Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the NightExpensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night

Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night

BURBANK, Calif. — Local gamer Doug Saunders recently purchased a high-end gaming chair, equipped with advanced technical features, a dynamic…

6 years ago
Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’

Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’

SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation executives announced today that Square Enix’s Shadow of the Tomb Raider will be this month’s…

7 years ago
Battletoads Movie Stuck on Hover Bike SceneBattletoads Movie Stuck on Hover Bike Scene

Battletoads Movie Stuck on Hover Bike Scene

LOS ANGELES — Production of a new movie based on the iconic Battletoads video game franchise has reportedly stalled due…

7 years ago
Metal Gear Solid Board Game Includes 2,000 Page Dialogue ScriptMetal Gear Solid Board Game Includes 2,000 Page Dialogue Script

Metal Gear Solid Board Game Includes 2,000 Page Dialogue Script

EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Video game publisher Konami announced a new board game based on their iconic Metal Gear Solid…

7 years ago
Weakest Squad Member Also Most Successful in Real LifeWeakest Squad Member Also Most Successful in Real Life

Weakest Squad Member Also Most Successful in Real Life

AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Tim Gilbert is facing criticism from his friend group for focusing on his career and…

7 years ago
Coding Boot Camp Defends Decision to Hire Real Drill SergeantCoding Boot Camp Defends Decision to Hire Real Drill Sergeant

Coding Boot Camp Defends Decision to Hire Real Drill Sergeant

ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local computer programming academy CodeBlue has come under fire after hiring a retired Marine Corps drill sergeant…

7 years ago
Red Dead Camp Desperately Low On Medicine Fully Stocked With 200 Dead AnimalsRed Dead Camp Desperately Low On Medicine Fully Stocked With 200 Dead Animals

Red Dead Camp Desperately Low On Medicine Fully Stocked With 200 Dead Animals

HORSESHOE OVERLOOK —  A local camp of the infamous Van Der Linde Gang is reportedly running dangerously low on medicine,…

7 years ago
City Approves Massive Infrastructure Budget for Roads That Spell ‘BOOBS’City Approves Massive Infrastructure Budget for Roads That Spell ‘BOOBS’

City Approves Massive Infrastructure Budget for Roads That Spell ‘BOOBS’

CITIES, Skylines — City council members approved a budget proposal today that includes funding for a massive freeway construction project…

7 years ago
Wikileaks Reveals Thousands of Unseen Strong Bad EmailsWikileaks Reveals Thousands of Unseen Strong Bad Emails

Wikileaks Reveals Thousands of Unseen Strong Bad Emails

FREE COUNTRY — Whistleblower site Wikileaks released a massive cache of unseen Strong Bad emails today, sending shockwaves throughout Strong…

7 years ago