Kyle Sekaquaptewa

Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night

BURBANK, Calif. — Local gamer Doug Saunders recently purchased a high-end gaming chair, equipped with advanced technical features, a dynamic…

6 years ago

Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’

SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation executives announced today that Square Enix’s Shadow of the Tomb Raider will be this month’s…

6 years ago

Battletoads Movie Stuck on Hover Bike Scene

LOS ANGELES — Production of a new movie based on the iconic Battletoads video game franchise has reportedly stalled due…

6 years ago

Metal Gear Solid Board Game Includes 2,000 Page Dialogue Script

EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Video game publisher Konami announced a new board game based on their iconic Metal Gear Solid…

6 years ago

Weakest Squad Member Also Most Successful in Real Life

AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Tim Gilbert is facing criticism from his friend group for focusing on his career and…

6 years ago

Coding Boot Camp Defends Decision to Hire Real Drill Sergeant

ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local computer programming academy CodeBlue has come under fire after hiring a retired Marine Corps drill sergeant…

6 years ago

Red Dead Camp Desperately Low On Medicine Fully Stocked With 200 Dead Animals

HORSESHOE OVERLOOK —  A local camp of the infamous Van Der Linde Gang is reportedly running dangerously low on medicine,…

6 years ago

City Approves Massive Infrastructure Budget for Roads That Spell ‘BOOBS’

CITIES, Skylines — City council members approved a budget proposal today that includes funding for a massive freeway construction project…

6 years ago

Wikileaks Reveals Thousands of Unseen Strong Bad Emails

FREE COUNTRY — Whistleblower site Wikileaks released a massive cache of unseen Strong Bad emails today, sending shockwaves throughout Strong…

6 years ago