July 5, 2021 Gamer Still Thinks About NPC He Was Rude to 10 Years Ago Gamer Still Thinks About NPC He Was Rude to 10 Years Ago AURORA, Colo. — Local gamer Grayson Cash is reportedly still upset about an NPC he was rude to while playing Mass Effect 2 in 2011,…
April 29, 2021 Hyrule Pottery Store Investigated for Insurance Fraud After IRS Discovers Teen Smashing Pots on Their Payroll Hyrule Pottery Store Investigated for Insurance Fraud After IRS Discovers Teen Smashing Pots on Their Payroll HYRULE — A local pottery shop has been put under audit by the Internal Revenue Service due to an alleged tax fraud scheme, in which…
April 12, 2021 Teammate With One Damage Uses Max Health Potion Teammate With One Damage Uses Max Health Potion TAMPA, Fla. — Local gamer Scott Porter faced condemnation from teammates for drinking a Max Health potion when he only had one damage and could…
December 4, 2020 Oscar Isaac Receives News Of Solid Snake Casting Via Two-Hour Codec Call Oscar Isaac Receives News Of Solid Snake Casting Via Two-Hour Codec Call LOS ANGELES — Star Wars actor Oscar Isaac was recently cast as Solid Snake in the upcoming Metal Gear Solid film adaptation, receiving the news…
June 8, 2020 Local Gamer’s Closest Black Friend Still Kareem Campbell Local Gamer’s Closest Black Friend Still Kareem Campbell PORTLAND, Maine — Local gamer Seth Barker’s only black friend is reportedly the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 avatar of professional skateboarder Kareem Campbell, according…
April 19, 2020 Gaming Mouse Has More Buttons Than Keyboard Gaming Mouse Has More Buttons Than Keyboard FREMONT, Calif. — The new Corsair BM-4050990 mouse, made specifically for gamers and streamers, boasts 128 buttons, according to a new press release from the…
December 31, 2019 World-Class Team of Surgeons Successfully Removes GameStop Sticker World-Class Team of Surgeons Successfully Removes GameStop Sticker PHILADELPHIA — A major breakthrough in medical science took place late last night, as a team consisting of the world’s top surgeons performed the first…
July 5, 2019 Live-Action ‘Little Mermaid’ to Feature Hidden Live-Action Penis Live-Action ‘Little Mermaid’ to Feature Hidden Live-Action Penis LOS ANGELES — Disney Studios announced today that the upcoming live action remake of The Little Mermaid is set to feature a real live penis…
May 3, 2019 Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out for Some Reason Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out for Some Reason BOSTON — Boston College sophomore Daniel Milner recently purchased a PlayStation VR gaming headset and what he claimed was a copy of Skyrim VR, a…
