August 5, 2021 HBO Changes Slogan to “It’s Not TV, It’s — Oops! Something Went Wrong. Try Restarting Your HBO Max App” HBO Changes Slogan to “It’s Not TV, It’s — Oops! Something Went Wrong. Try Restarting Your HBO Max App” NEW YORK — Cable television network HBO announced today that they are changing their longtime slogan from “It’s not TV, it’s HBO” to “It’s not…
August 2, 2021 Matt Damon Announces He Sees Now That Using the “F-Slur” Is “Gay” Matt Damon Announces He Sees Now That Using the “F-Slur” Is “Gay” LOS ANGELES — Actor Matt Damon took to social media today to apologize for his use of the homophobic f-slur over the course of his…
August 2, 2021 New Service Lets You Rent a Funny Guy for Your Group Chats New Service Lets You Rent a Funny Guy for Your Group Chats NEW YORK — A new startup based in Manhattan called Chat Rat lets people rent a funny guy to join their group chats and make…
August 2, 2021 Falco Lombardi Still Kinda Bitter That Mario Is Nintendo’s Flagship Italian Falco Lombardi Still Kinda Bitter That Mario Is Nintendo’s Flagship Italian CORNERIA — Local ace pilot of the Star Fox team Falco Lombardi is reportedly annoyed that Nintendo still sees Mushroom Kingdom plumber/hero Mario Mario as…
August 1, 2021 Dumbass Smash Bros Crowd Cheering for Character Who Just Died Dumbass Smash Bros Crowd Cheering for Character Who Just Died BATTLEFIELD — The unseen crowd watching Roy and Ganondorf battle it out on the floating platforms known as Battlefield were reportedly just stupidly cheering for…
July 30, 2021 Editorial: Jeff Bezos Has Purchased Our Website and, Unrelated, Has Anyone Noticed He’s Super Hot? Editorial: Jeff Bezos Has Purchased Our Website and, Unrelated, Has Anyone Noticed He’s Super Hot? We have exciting news here at Hard Drive! Following in the footsteps of great newspapers before us like the Washington Post, our publication has been…
July 28, 2021 HBO Funds New Cult to Film Documentary Miniseries About HBO Funds New Cult to Film Documentary Miniseries About NEW YORK — Cable television network HBO funded a new cult called The People’s Messiah in order to film a 10-episode documentary miniseries The Messiah…
July 28, 2021 Dominatrix Anime Available Exclusively With Subs Dominatrix Anime Available Exclusively With Subs TOKYO — A new Japanese anime show titled Whip It: The Dominatrix Tale has ended it’s first season and will be available in the United…
July 28, 2021 Bobby Kotick Announces New Apology Letters Will Be Written by Alternating Teams at Treyarch and Infinity Ward Each Year for Foreseeable Future Bobby Kotick Announces New Apology Letters Will Be Written by Alternating Teams at Treyarch and Infinity Ward Each Year for Foreseeable Future SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following a massive employee strike at Activision Blizzard due to years of harsh treatment and sexual harassment, Bobby Kotick has written…
