October 5, 2021 Sakurai Secures Sora for Smash in Exchange for First Born Son to Disney Sakurai Secures Sora for Smash in Exchange for First Born Son to Disney KYOTO, Japan — Super Smash Bros. creator Masahiro Sakurai confirmed today in a special Direct video that Kingdom Hearts protagonist Sora will be joining the…
October 4, 2021 Facebook Down as Mark Zuckerberg Leaves for New Job Facebook Down as Mark Zuckerberg Leaves for New Job MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook and Instagram servers were both down today following rumors that CEO Mark Zuckerberg is vacating his position to join Super…
September 20, 2021 Man Camping Alone Deep in the Woods Hears Discord Notification Bleep Man Camping Alone Deep in the Woods Hears Discord Notification Bleep DENALI BOROUGH, Alaska — Local man Tauren Schneider reportedly heard a discord notification sound while camping alone deep in the mountains of Alaska without any…
September 16, 2021 BREAKING: Comedian Andy Kaufman Has Died From COVID-19 at Age 72 BREAKING: Comedian Andy Kaufman Has Died From COVID-19 at Age 72 LOS ANGELES — Beloved comedian, actor, and wrestler Andy Kaufman passed away in his home today at 72 after contracting COVID-19, according to those familiar…
September 10, 2021 There It Is: Steve From Blue’s Clues Releases Second Video Asking for Just a Few Thousand Dollars to Get His New Business Off the Ground There It Is: Steve From Blue’s Clues Releases Second Video Asking for Just a Few Thousand Dollars to Get His New Business Off the Ground NEW YORK — After warming the hearts of America, former Blue’s Clues host Steve Burns released a second video asking for those who knew him…
September 9, 2021 Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5 Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5 NEW YORK — Representatives from Sony promised today in their PlayStation Showcase that Spider-Man 2 really makes players feel like they want to pay $500…
September 9, 2021 Taliban Leaders Demand United States “Let People Enjoy Things” Taliban Leaders Demand United States “Let People Enjoy Things” KABUL, Afghanistan — Taliban officials controlling Afghanistan have sent out a demand to the United States that the nation should “let people enjoy things,” a…
September 3, 2021 Michael Caine Sick of Explaining Shit to Christopher Nolan Michael Caine Sick of Explaining Shit to Christopher Nolan LOS ANGELES — Actor Michael Caine is reportedly sick of director Christopher Nolan constantly calling him up to ask him to explain random things about…
September 3, 2021 “Ugh, Got Queued Up With Another Round of Bots,” Says Squad Crushing You in FPS “Ugh, Got Queued Up With Another Round of Bots,” Says Squad Crushing You in FPS BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local Splitgate squad was reportedly disappointed to be playing against a group of bots while crushing you and your friends, who…
