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Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5


NEW YORK — Representatives from Sony promised today in their PlayStation Showcase that Spider-Man 2 really makes players feel like they want to pay $500 for a PS5.

“The Spider-Man games are only as successful as they are good at putting the player in a fantastical headspace. While Spider-Man one really made players feel like Spider-Man as they swung around the game’s version of Manhattan, Spider-Man 2 will really make players feel like spending $500 on a PlayStation 5,” explained Sony Interactive Entertainment CEO Jim Ryan. “We’re so excited for players to jump into this world and really feel around for themselves what it’s like to want to spend a good chunk of their disposable income on a PlayStation 5.”

Fans of the series excitedly took to social media to praise the announcement.

“Holy shit. A lot of games have promised to make you feel like you want to spend $500 on a PS5, but none of them have actually delivered. I truly cannot believe they’re actually making a Spider-Man 2,” said Twitter user @DoctorOctoPussy92. “I never even finished the first game because it got really annoying after there were all those guys shooting rockets at me all the time, but yeah, I’d pay $500 for a chance to swing around Manhattan as Spidey again. I hope they add a few blocks in either direction to flesh out the map!”

At press time, Sony clarified that, just to be clear, paying $500 for a PS5 does not actually grant you a copy of Spider-Man 2. They also released a follow up video reminding fans that taxes are a thing, just in case they forgot.