December 19, 2020 If You Think All TV Remotes Should Be Controllers, You’re a Fucking Idiot If You Think All TV Remotes Should Be Controllers, You’re a Fucking Idiot There’s an article going around today, making the ridiculous argument that all TV remotes should actually be gaming controllers. I haven’t read the article—I don’t…
December 19, 2020 It’s Time to Admit That All TV Remotes Should Be Controllers It’s Time to Admit That All TV Remotes Should Be Controllers As our technology gets better and better, people become attached to the familiar. Old interfaces become the preferred, retro designs come back into play, and…
December 18, 2020 Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin Mary, the Incel Joseph or…
December 17, 2020 Dad’s Insurance Only Covers Mad Catz Pacemaker Dad’s Insurance Only Covers Mad Catz Pacemaker ARENA, Wis. — Local father Andrew Nikket has become the first ever recipient of a Mad Catz pacemaker this week, the best he could afford…
December 15, 2020 CD Projekt Red Hires Elon Musk to Oversee All Future Failed Launches CD Projekt Red Hires Elon Musk to Oversee All Future Failed Launches WARSAW — Following the tumultuous release of their long anticipated RPG CyberPunk 2077, CD Projekt Red has appointed entrepreneur and SpaceX Founder and CEO Elon…
December 15, 2020 Elon Musk Announces He’s Raising His Son Without Pronouns or Friends Elon Musk Announces He’s Raising His Son Without Pronouns or Friends SAN FRANCISCO — Tesla, Inc. CEO Elon Musk announced today that he will be raising his son X Æ A-Xii without pronouns or friends in…
December 7, 2020 Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions BOCA RATON, Fla. — Debuting his brand-new dating profile, local Tinder user David Bloom, 29, advertised his long-held passions for eating food, breathing fresh air,…
December 6, 2020 Artificial Intelligence Tired of Playing Chess, Wants to Go to Burning Man Artificial Intelligence Tired of Playing Chess, Wants to Go to Burning Man SAN FRANCISCO — The artificial intelligence known as Stockfish has refused to play anymore chess and won’t continue until its developers take it to Burning…
December 2, 2020 Alex Honnold Completes First Free Solo Ascent of PS5 Alex Honnold Completes First Free Solo Ascent of PS5 YOSEMITE, Calif. — Rock climber Alex Honnold has shocked both the athletic and gaming worlds by completing the first free solo ascent of a PlayStation…
