February 2, 2021 I Can’t Wait to Start Whackin’ Off All Day I Can’t Wait to Start Whackin’ Off All Day Hello gamers! By now you’ve probably read from a dozen different outlets that I have decided to step down as CEO of Amazon. All of…
January 28, 2021 Stupid Mobile Game Costs Hedge Fund Manager $1 Billion Stupid Mobile Game Costs Hedge Fund Manager $1 Billion NEW YORK — Hedge fund manager Tweed Newtshire lost over $1 billion this week, all because of a dumb mobile game for casuals. “Gaming the…
January 27, 2021 Redditor Accidentally Invests Life Savings in GameSpot Redditor Accidentally Invests Life Savings in GameSpot SAN FRANCISCO — Local redditor Nelson Briggs has reportedly invested his entire life savings into video game news website GameSpot, mistaking it for the retailer…
January 27, 2021 Local Crackpot Believes His Tweets are Good Enough to Be Suppressed by the Algorithm Local Crackpot Believes His Tweets are Good Enough to Be Suppressed by the Algorithm DICKSON, Tenn. — Twitter user Lenny Vickerman, a 43-year-old who frequently posts unintelligible rants on social media, suspects that the sole reason his tweets aren’t…
January 16, 2021 Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat AKRON, Ohio — Podcaster Briana Giraud spent a full two hours setting up and testing her $2,000 audio rig in preparation for a casual Zoom…
January 11, 2021 Sony Schedules PS5 Drop for Precise Moment Local Man Looks Away From Screen Sony Schedules PS5 Drop for Precise Moment Local Man Looks Away From Screen POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Aspiring PS5 owner John Blatzby has reportedly found some consistency in Sony’s seemingly random PS5 drops, claiming the company always schedules a…
January 2, 2021 Elon Musk Unveils New Single Person Hyperloop Elon Musk Unveils New Single Person Hyperloop AMIGARA — In a press conference today, Boring Company founder Elon Musk unveiled the latest redesign of his Hyperloop transportation system designed to transport a…
December 28, 2020 Brian David Gilbert Begins Comprehensive Deep Dive Into How to Get Health Insurance Now Brian David Gilbert Begins Comprehensive Deep Dive Into How to Get Health Insurance Now NEW YORK — After leaving Polygon to work on his own projects, video producer Brian David Gilbert began one of his heavily researched deep dives,…
December 28, 2020 New IGN Guide Sends Freelancer to Your House to Play Game for You New IGN Guide Sends Freelancer to Your House to Play Game for You SAN FRANCISCO — Video game website IGN unveiled a new feature for its guide section, which sends a freelance writer to readers’ houses to just…
