Tagsplaystation 5, ps5, sony
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Aspiring PS5 owner John Blatzby has reportedly found some consistency in Sony’s seemingly random PS5 drops, claiming the company always schedules a drop for the precise moment he looks away from the screen.
“If I leave my computer to use the bathroom or grab some UTZ pretzels, there are hundreds of PS5 victory tweets on my Twitter timeline when I return,” said Blatzby, who has been attempting to secure the PS5 since September 2020. “Why couldn’t I be in that number?”
After spending entire days with his credit card in hand at his computer, hoping to make a purchase, Blatzby was positive that Sony was specifically avoiding him.
“I should have a console by now. I’ve followed all the accounts — Wario64, PS5 Drop, Spiel Times — and stayed attentive. Either I’ve been cursed by a witch or Sony drops PS5s at the exact moment that I look away from my screen.”
After months of silence, Sony issued a public comment on Blatzby’s situation.
“It overjoys us that so many people want the PS5,” said a Sony representative. “Despite the demand, we like to deny the console to a few specific people, just to keep the hype train moving. This time we chose John Blatzby. By no means can John Blatzby get a PS5.”
After the statement, Blatzby’s friends began to request that he look away briefly every day, to give them a chance to buy their own PS5. Sony has confirmed that the friends are allowed to get one, but cannot share it with Blatzby.
Like this article? Check out our merch store!