July 9, 2019 Powerful Necromancer Revives Long-Dead Forum Thread Powerful Necromancer Revives Long-Dead Forum Thread GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Arcane powers of life and death were recently wielded by Amina Mitchell, 35, who used dark magicks to revive a 12-year-old…
July 2, 2019 Nostalgic Bill Gates Visits Garage Where He First Had Idea to Be Born Rich Nostalgic Bill Gates Visits Garage Where He First Had Idea to Be Born Rich SEATTLE — Technology visionary, entrepreneur, and formerly the world’s richest man Bill Gates recently visited the garage in which he first had the idea to…
June 28, 2019 Man Builds PC Tower to Heaven Man Builds PC Tower to Heaven ATLANTA — Having lost his previous gaming PC to a flood, Ned Myers has constructed a much bigger and more powerful build, reportedly reaching all…
June 27, 2019 Amazon Gamifies Warehouse so If You Mess Up Three Times You Die Amazon Gamifies Warehouse so If You Mess Up Three Times You Die WHITESTOWN, Ind. — Amazon today revealed a new wave of gamification techniques for its fulfillment centers that include killing an employee if they mess up…
June 21, 2019 DEALS ROUNDUP: Save Big on This Nintendo Switch That of Course Isn’t Stolen. What Are You a Cop? DEALS ROUNDUP: Save Big on This Nintendo Switch That of Course Isn’t Stolen. What Are You a Cop? Alright gamers, welcome to the Hard Drive Deals Roundup! Today we’ve got some SUPER DISCOUNTS for you provided you ACT FAST and AREN’T WEIRD ABOUT…
June 18, 2019 Revolutionary Company Imagines Gaming Chair That Isn’t Red and Black Revolutionary Company Imagines Gaming Chair That Isn’t Red and Black SEATTLE — In an effort to disrupt the stagnant industry, new startup company GamerTech has announced plans for a gaming chair that is not red…
June 16, 2019 New Snapchat Filter Shows What You’d Look Like Without Crippling Student Loan Debt New Snapchat Filter Shows What You’d Look Like Without Crippling Student Loan Debt SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following the success of a recent filter that showed users what they would look like as a different gender, Snapchat has…
June 15, 2019 Opinion: Update My Software, You Lazy Piece of Shit Opinion: Update My Software, You Lazy Piece of Shit Hey you with the mac and cheese stains on their shirt. It’s time to close all those tabs you won’t read, save all the documents…
June 11, 2019 End of an Era: Last Known Wii Sensor Bar Falls Off TV End of an Era: Last Known Wii Sensor Bar Falls Off TV SPOKANE, Wash. — The last known Wii Sensor Bar tumbled off of its television and behind the cabinet early this morning, marking the end of…
