zelda

Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining StockNintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo is preparing for the upcoming holiday season by making sure every remaining game and console are destroyed,…

8 years ago
Protesters Remove Statue, Activating Secret Doorway PuzzleProtesters Remove Statue, Activating Secret Doorway Puzzle

Protesters Remove Statue, Activating Secret Doorway Puzzle

MONTGOMERY, Ala. — A growing wave of unrest erupted into violence, and then confusion, as protesters removed a confederate statue…

8 years ago
Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five SecondsInspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds

Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds

Staring blankly into the corner of his open-air bazaar-style smithing shack, a man known only as “Smitty” to travelers and…

8 years ago
College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of TequilaCollege Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila

College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle…

8 years ago
Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to HimMain Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him

Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him

WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests…

8 years ago
Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His UlyssesVideo Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses

Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses

LANSING, Mich. — Veteran gaming story writer Scott McCormick is reportedly exceptionally pleased with his latest work, the backstory of…

8 years ago
Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will…

8 years ago
NES Classic Edition Lets You Play for One Hour, Then It’s Your Little Brother’s TurnNES Classic Edition Lets You Play for One Hour, Then It’s Your Little Brother’s Turn

NES Classic Edition Lets You Play for One Hour, Then It’s Your Little Brother’s Turn

REDMOND, Wash. -- Nintendo’s NES Classic drew sharp reactions from critics and fans alike this week with the announcement of…

9 years ago