June 15, 2021 Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually LOS ANGELES — Todd Howard expressed regret that Bethesda’s E3 showcase was only about an hour long, because he would have loved the chance to…
May 19, 2021 Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free Xbox Divorced, Disheveled Bill Gates Announces Everyone Is Getting a Free Xbox MEDINA, Wash. — Desperately attempting to sway public opinion back into his favor after his divorce, billionaire Bill Gates announced today that he would be…
April 23, 2021 Review: PS5 Undeniably Best Way to Play PS5 Games Review: PS5 Undeniably Best Way to Play PS5 Games The console wars are still a reality in the gaming world. Every year people rely on impartial reviewers to tell them which piece of hardware…
January 15, 2021 Biden Clarifies That $2,000 Check Will Be Next-Gen Upgrade in Late 2021 Biden Clarifies That $2,000 Check Will Be Next-Gen Upgrade in Late 2021 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Responding to criticism over his planned $1,400 stimulus check, President-elect Joe Biden clarified that a full $2,000 version would be coming to…
January 7, 2021 Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together WASHINGTON — A touching tale unfolded this afternoon during the “Stop The Steal” rally as a local police officer and a MAGA supporter united after…
November 14, 2020 Size Queen Purchases PS5 Size Queen Purchases PS5 NEW YORK — Local size queen Sasha Carter reportedly purchased a PlayStation 5, the only console large enough to satisfy her need for an enormous…
November 5, 2020 Gamer Sick of Two-Console System Gamer Sick of Two-Console System WASHINGTON — Local gamer Stephen Nelson exhaustedly told friends Wednesday night that he is done with participating in the antiquated two-console system forced on him…
October 30, 2020 Trump Administration Remains Silent on Rumored Melania Series X Trump Administration Remains Silent on Rumored Melania Series X WASHINGTON — Despite many pictures and sources alleging its development, the Trump administration has remained tight lipped about the heavily rumored Melania Series X. “There…
October 18, 2020 Cockroaches Thank Homeowner for New Luxury High-Rise Cockroaches Thank Homeowner for New Luxury High-Rise BROOKLYN, N.Y. — One day after setting up her new Xbox Series X, local homeowner Maya Cruz received a letter from all of the cockroaches…
