trump

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

4 years ago

Trump Boasts About Getting Through Professor Layton Games “Without Too Much Help”

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently called into Hannity to boast about the minimal help he needed beating the entire…

4 years ago

President Trump Appoints Dr. Goomba Tower as New Head, Head, and Head of COVID-19 Task Force

WASHINGTON — President Trump announced this morning that he would be naming Dr. Goomba Tower as the new head, head,…

4 years ago

Donald Trump Recommends All Americans Inject Themselves With Bleach

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recommended Americans inject hit 2004 anime Bleach into their veins in order to prevent the…

5 years ago

UBI to Be Distributed Over Daily Login Bonus on Whitehouse.gov

WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via…

5 years ago

Donald Trump Unleashes Giant Squids on Major U.S. Cities to Unite Americans Against Coronavirus

WASHINGTON — President Trump has announced plans to unleash a giant squid on each of the major cities in the…

5 years ago

Something Fishy About Private ‘Animal Crossing’ Island That Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Prince Andrew Keep Visiting

NEW HORIZONS — Those playing the newly released Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the Nintendo Switch noted that there was…

5 years ago

Donald Trump Insists He Found Mew Under Truck in Pokémon Red

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is being attacked by prominent Democrats today after he claimed he found Mew under a…

5 years ago

Impeachment Begins With 3 Days of Pelosi and Trump Charging Their Energy

WASHINGTON — Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and President Donald Trump began the impeachment process this week by standing…

5 years ago