trump

New ‘Assassin’s Creed’ to Be Set in Ancient Era When Donald Trump Was President

MONTREAL — Following the success of Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, Ubisoft hinted that their next game would delve further into history…

4 years ago

Oh No: They Removed Donald Trump From Home Alone 2 But Accidentally Replaced Him With Pol Pot

Alright so we have some very good news and some very bad news. Let’s just… let’s start with the good…

4 years ago

Trump Grants Jeffrey Epstein Posthumous Pardon

WASHINGTON — Making full use of his last full day in office, President Donald Trump announced a posthumous pardon of…

4 years ago

Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power

WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles…

4 years ago

Donald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk Cards

WASHINGTON — Following a string of other legal concessions in the waning days of his term, President Donald Trump announced…

4 years ago

Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport

LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport,…

4 years ago

Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All

WASHINGTON — After initially claiming he was going to hold out until more exclusive next-gen titles became available, President Donald…

4 years ago

Republicans Try to Decipher “Haha Just Chillin” After QAnon Accidentally Posts on Wrong Account

WASHINGTON — Republicans nationwide are struggling to decipher a cryptic message from Q, the anonymous leader of conspiracy theory QAnon,…

4 years ago

Gamer Tip: Your Vote Is Wasted If It’s Not Concentrated on Blinking Weak Spot

PENNSYLVANIA — Gamer consultants have advised the Trump and Biden campaigns that it’s pointless to spam votes in low-effect areas…

4 years ago