October 14, 2020 Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Nunez excitedly turned on his Switch to download the latest software update for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate so that…
September 14, 2020 Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Stephen McLaughlin can’t help but hear the voice of the Super Smash Bros. Melee announcer saying “Continue?” every single time…
July 16, 2020 Guy Who’s Really Good at Landing Mario’s Forward Smash Can’t Possibly Have Hurt All Those People Guy Who’s Really Good at Landing Mario’s Forward Smash Can’t Possibly Have Hurt All Those People SAN DIEGO — Fans of professional Smash Bros. player and alleged sexual predator ‘K1ra’ have reported widespread feelings of disbelief that someone so capable with…
May 24, 2020 Gamer Training Months for Melee Tournament Heartbroken Upon Discovering They Didn’t Mean ‘Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee’ Gamer Training Months for Melee Tournament Heartbroken Upon Discovering They Didn’t Mean ‘Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee’ JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Dedicated Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee player Duncan Cooker was recently disappointed to realize that the “Melee” tournament he’d been preparing for…
March 8, 2020 Boyfriend Down to Two Stocks After Being Knocked Off Bed Boyfriend Down to Two Stocks After Being Knocked Off Bed ALBANY, N.Y. — Local boyfriend Dennis McElris is reportedly down to just two stocks after being knocked off the bed by his sleeping girlfriend Jennifer…
February 15, 2020 Yoshi Becomes Proud Parent of Person They Just Ate Yoshi Becomes Proud Parent of Person They Just Ate YOSHI’S ISLAND — Beloved dinosaur and Super Smash Bros. fighter Yoshi became the proud parent of Captain Falcon seconds after consuming him, sources say, lending…
February 7, 2020 Parents Main Youngest Son Parents Main Youngest Son BRIGHAM CITY, Utah — Parents of seven and familial strategists Angela and Brent Fuller have been consistently maining their youngest son Kevin, neglected sources report.…
November 11, 2019 Exhausted Sakurai Announces Mario Coming to Smash Bros Exhausted Sakurai Announces Mario Coming to Smash Bros TOKYO — Nintendo fans were left scratching their heads this morning following a surprise livestream where visibly exhausted Super Smash Bros. director Masahiro Sakurai announced…
April 8, 2019 Super Smash Bros.-Inspired Microsoft Fighting Game Features Two-Character Roster Super Smash Bros.-Inspired Microsoft Fighting Game Features Two-Character Roster REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft has revealed a new fighting game inspired by Nintendo’s successful Super Smash Bros. franchise, which will celebrate the Xbox’s rich history…
