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Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve


DLC, minecraft, nintendo, sakurai, steve, super smash bros

NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Nunez excitedly turned on his Switch to download the latest software update for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate so that he could play exactly one match as Steve from Minecraft

“It feels like yesterday that they announced Steve was coming to Smash, that was so quick!” said Nunez while sorting his Switch game library by “time last played” and scrolling all the way to the bottom to access the game. “I’m excited to see what all of his moves do! Well, some of them will be surprises. I only watched the first few minutes of the hands-on demo until I got bored and started scrolling through Twitter.”

Nunez’s friends say that his erratic behavior when buying video game DLC that he barely plays has become a cause for concern.

“Jesse always buys into the hype whenever games announce new characters and talks about how they’re going to ‘change the meta’, but I think he just falls for the marketing and the excitement of it all,” said longtime friend Maria Antonov. “The other day he said he was looking forward to playing as Rambo in Mortal Kombat 11. I’ve never seen him play a Mortal Kombat game in my life, or watch a Rambo movie, for that matter.”

At press time, Nunez had reportedly jumped straight into a ranked online match and begun complaining that Steve’s moveset is unbalanced.

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