star wars

J.J. Abrams Won’t Stop Telling Sandwich Guy at Bodega to ‘Surprise Him’J.J. Abrams Won’t Stop Telling Sandwich Guy at Bodega to ‘Surprise Him’

J.J. Abrams Won’t Stop Telling Sandwich Guy at Bodega to ‘Surprise Him’

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Staff at a local bodega have become increasingly frustrated with Star Wars director J.J. Abrams, who won’t…

5 years ago
Bob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby IgerBob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby Iger

Bob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby Iger

BURBANK, Calif. — Disney CEO Bob Iger made a surprise announcement this afternoon that he would be stepping down from…

5 years ago
Star Wars Porn Parody Changes Luke and Leia to Just Step SiblingsStar Wars Porn Parody Changes Luke and Leia to Just Step Siblings

Star Wars Porn Parody Changes Luke and Leia to Just Step Siblings

MONTREAL — Representatives from Brazzers have confirmed that their highly anticipated nine-part pornographic Star Wars parody series will modify the…

5 years ago
R2-D2 Suddenly Remembers a Bunch of Cool Shit It Can DoR2-D2 Suddenly Remembers a Bunch of Cool Shit It Can Do

R2-D2 Suddenly Remembers Bunch of Cool Shit It Can Do

LOTHAL — Just as he and his friends were almost certainly doomed while trying to escape a secret base of…

5 years ago
I Didn’t Spend 50 Years Breastfeeding Baby Yoda for Some Asshole in a Helmet to Get All the CreditI Didn’t Spend 50 Years Breastfeeding Baby Yoda for Some Asshole in a Helmet to Get All the Credit

I Didn’t Spend 50 Years Breastfeeding Baby Yoda for Some Asshole in Helmet to Get All the Credit

Fifty years is a long time. Almost as long as my nipples after half a century of breastfeeding. Seriously, my…

5 years ago
Huge ‘Star Wars’ Planet Adds Second TownHuge ‘Star Wars’ Planet Adds Second Town

Huge ‘Star Wars’ Planet Adds Second Town

NEVARRO — Far far away planet Nevarro has added a second town after realizing they have the room to spare,…

5 years ago
With ‘Knives Out,’ Rian Johnson Finally Bounces Back From Critically Acclaimed, Billion Dollar ‘The Last Jedi’With ‘Knives Out,’ Rian Johnson Finally Bounces Back From Critically Acclaimed, Billion Dollar ‘The Last Jedi’

With ‘Knives Out,’ Rian Johnson Finally Bounces Back From Critically Acclaimed, Billion Dollar ‘The Last Jedi’

LOS ANGELES —  With murder mystery Knives Out, Rian Johnson appears to have finally rebounded from making the highest grossing…

5 years ago
Oh No: Jon Favreau Just Revealed That Baby Yoda’s Name is Mike PenceOh No: Jon Favreau Just Revealed That Baby Yoda’s Name is Mike Pence

Oh No: Jon Favreau Just Revealed That Baby Yoda’s Name is Mike Pence

We have awful news for fans of Star Wars and cute puppets everywhere; The Mandalorian creator Jon Favreau just revealed…

6 years ago
Hard Drive Investigates: Is Darth Maul Red With Black Stripes or Black With Red Stripes?Hard Drive Investigates: Is Darth Maul Red With Black Stripes or Black With Red Stripes?

Hard Drive Investigates: Is Darth Maul Red With Black Stripes or Black With Red Stripes?

Ever since George Lucas’s sci-fi epic The Phantom Menace premiered in 1999, Star Wars fans have been obsessed with one…

6 years ago