skyrim

Guard With Four Arrows in Torso Starting to Think Intruder Nearby

WHITERUN, Skyr. — Night Watchman Thorbjorg Halmsteim told reporters he began to suspect a trespasser might be afoot today, after…

7 years ago

Dad Reviews Skyrim: “How do I move?”

Hundreds of hours of dangerous adventure, amazing discovery, and enchanting exploration. I just wish I could have seen that instead…

7 years ago

Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds

Staring blankly into the corner of his open-air bazaar-style smithing shack, a man known only as “Smitty” to travelers and…

7 years ago

College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle…

7 years ago

Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him

WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests…

7 years ago

Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self

TUCSON, Ariz. — Avid gamer Mark Spears utilized a video game character creation tool with millions of possibilities, including hundreds…

7 years ago

Remainder of Bethesda’s E3 Conference Available Next Week for $4.99

LOS ANGELES — Gaming giant Bethesda announced today that fans will be able to download the rest of their E3…

7 years ago