skyrim

Man Successfully Climbs Mount Everest After Months of Jumping Up Side of It

KATHMANDU, Nepal — World-renowned adventurer Jorn Aldis successfully scaled Mount Everest yesterday following a rigorous multi-month climb that saw him…

5 years ago

Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out for Some Reason

BOSTON — Boston College sophomore Daniel Milner recently purchased a PlayStation VR gaming headset and what he claimed was a…

5 years ago

Final Fantasy 7 Coming to Skyrim

Bethesda announced today that 1997’s legendary roleplaying title Final Fantasy 7 will be available inside of all versions of The…

5 years ago

Hero Foretold by Ancient Prophecy Prefers Fishing

TAMRIEL — A local hero, who many citizens of Tamriel are counting on to save their land from impending doom,…

6 years ago

Skyrim Woman Calls Police on Khajiit Bake Sale

WHITERUN — Local guards were called to the scene of an alleged disturbance in the town of Whiterun, only to…

6 years ago

Mount Everest is Littered With Dead Skyrim Horses

NEPAL — The Elder Scrolls fan site FansRoDah.net shocked the climbing world today when it reported there are hundreds of…

6 years ago

Gamer Exploring Beautiful, Detailed Open World Can’t Wait to Unlock Fast Travel

KENOSHA, Wis. — Local gamer Kelly Redmond expressed frustration at the lack of a fast travel option shortly after beginning…

6 years ago

Laid Off Bethesda Employee Cleans 70 Cheese Wheels Out of Desk

ROCKVILLE, Md. — After being fired, Bethesda animator Jeff Callahan was seen packing a confusingly extensive assortment of useless objects…

6 years ago

Bethesda Employee Dead After Attempting to Port Skyrim Onto Own Body

ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks employee Herbert Naples died today after attempting to transfer Skyrim, a popular fantasy video game,…

6 years ago