sex

Mass Effect Devs Still Waiting for Anybody to Find the Secret ‘No Sex’ Ending

EDMONTON — Nearly eight years after the release of Mass Effect 3, Canadian game developers at BioWare were baffled that…

5 years ago

Smash Bros Purist Won’t Even Use Items in Bedroom

CHICAGO — Competitive Super Smash Bros. player Greg Bradley holds true to his principles beyond the game, refusing to use…

5 years ago

Team Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme Franchise

TOKYO — Yosuke Hayashi, president of famed software developer Team Ninja, announced the production of a new controller specifically designed…

6 years ago

Cuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the Cups

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft apologized after fans discovered secret files that allows access to a hidden mode within Cuphead that…

6 years ago

Uninspired Rule 34 Artist Just Going Through Motions of Drawing Sonic Eating Out Tails

ALBANY, N.Y.  — Revered Rule 34 artist Sophia Zinn is no longer feeling inspired by her various drawings of Sonic…

7 years ago

Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal

DENVER — Scientists have announced the discovery of a clear, 100% correlation between the stunning board game skill of sophomore…

7 years ago

Heroic Video Game Designer Gives Female Protagonist Average-Sized Breasts

AMSTERDAM — Honored for his astounding design work on the fantasy roleplaying game Horizon Zero Dawn, Guerrilla Games senior producer…

7 years ago

Boyfriend Was Hoping for Different Kind of Role-Playing

ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Brian Freemont was dismayed Thursday evening after being promised a night of wild role-playing by his…

7 years ago

Aging PlayStation 2 Hasn’t Been Touched Like That in Years

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A timeworn PlayStation 2 was turned on—so turned on—and played for the first time in nearly a…

7 years ago