sex

Mass Effect Devs Still Waiting for Anybody to Find the Secret ‘No Sex’ EndingMass Effect Devs Still Waiting for Anybody to Find the Secret ‘No Sex’ Ending

Mass Effect Devs Still Waiting for Anybody to Find the Secret ‘No Sex’ Ending

EDMONTON — Nearly eight years after the release of Mass Effect 3, Canadian game developers at BioWare were baffled that…

5 years ago
Smash Bros Purist Won’t Even Use Items in BedroomSmash Bros Purist Won’t Even Use Items in Bedroom

Smash Bros Purist Won’t Even Use Items in Bedroom

CHICAGO — Competitive Super Smash Bros. player Greg Bradley holds true to his principles beyond the game, refusing to use…

6 years ago
Team Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme FranchiseTeam Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme Franchise

Team Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme Franchise

TOKYO — Yosuke Hayashi, president of famed software developer Team Ninja, announced the production of a new controller specifically designed…

7 years ago
Cuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the CupsCuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the Cups

Cuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the Cups

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft apologized after fans discovered secret files that allows access to a hidden mode within Cuphead that…

7 years ago
Uninspired Rule 34 Artist Just Going Through Motions of Drawing Sonic Eating Out TailsUninspired Rule 34 Artist Just Going Through Motions of Drawing Sonic Eating Out Tails

Uninspired Rule 34 Artist Just Going Through Motions of Drawing Sonic Eating Out Tails

ALBANY, N.Y.  — Revered Rule 34 artist Sophia Zinn is no longer feeling inspired by her various drawings of Sonic…

7 years ago
Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex AppealStudy Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal

Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal

DENVER — Scientists have announced the discovery of a clear, 100% correlation between the stunning board game skill of sophomore…

7 years ago
Heroic Video Game Designer Gives Female Protagonist Average-Sized BreastsHeroic Video Game Designer Gives Female Protagonist Average-Sized Breasts

Heroic Video Game Designer Gives Female Protagonist Average-Sized Breasts

AMSTERDAM — Honored for his astounding design work on the fantasy roleplaying game Horizon Zero Dawn, Guerrilla Games senior producer…

8 years ago
Boyfriend Was Hoping for a Different Kind of Role-PlayingBoyfriend Was Hoping for a Different Kind of Role-Playing

Boyfriend Was Hoping for Different Kind of Role-Playing

ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Brian Freemont was dismayed Thursday evening after being promised a night of wild role-playing by his…

8 years ago
Aging PlayStation 2 Hasn’t Been Touched Like That in YearsAging PlayStation 2 Hasn’t Been Touched Like That in Years

Aging PlayStation 2 Hasn’t Been Touched Like That in Years

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A timeworn PlayStation 2 was turned on—so turned on—and played for the first time in nearly a…

8 years ago