sex

Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically

SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Dragon-like space pirate and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter Ridley assured a teary-eyed man controlling his moves…

4 years ago

Porn Parody ‘Girls Done Quick’ Not Particularly Popular

LOS ANGELES — Girls Done Quick, a new livestreamed porn parody of the hit video game convention Games Done Quick…

4 years ago

Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid

SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing…

4 years ago

Dungeon Master Sneaks Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly…

4 years ago

Girlfriend Has No Idea Sex Playlist Is Just Old School RuneScape Soundtrack

PHOENIX — Local girlfriend Marissa Andrews is reportedly unaware that the playlist her boyfriend put on during sex last week…

4 years ago

Shigeru Miyamoto Delays Orgasm for Quality Purposes

KYOTO, Japan — Shigeru Miyamoto announced today that in order to make sure he lives up to his highest standards,…

4 years ago

Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Recent sexual partner Nathan Stenhouse has released an apology for his unacceptably short load time during last…

5 years ago

Boyfriend Can’t Find the Crit

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local woman Anita Harrison expressed disappointment during a game of Dungeons and Dragons when her boyfriend Steven…

5 years ago

Autosave Doesn’t Feel as Good as the Real Thing

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand — Although experts are split on precisely why, a study of gamers worldwide has determined that the…

5 years ago