roleplaying game

Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’

Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’

MIDDLETON, Wis. — Local dipshit and occasional tabletop gamer Christian Taylor has cancelled on his supposedly regular Dungeons and Dragons…

4 years ago
Pope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGsPope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGs

Pope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGs

VATICAN CITY — Following an announcement from Vatican officials that Pope Francis has started playing video games to pass time…

4 years ago
Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on FrisbeeDog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

SEATTLE — Adorable old english sheepdog and total noob, Pancakes, blew the only slot in his extremely limited inventory on…

4 years ago
RPG Town Shop Goes Bankrupt After Buying $10,000 in Trinkets From AdventurerRPG Town Shop Goes Bankrupt After Buying $10,000 in Trinkets From Adventurer

RPG Town Shop Goes Bankrupt After Buying $10,000 in Trinkets From Adventurer

NETINNDEL — An RPG shop owner has been forced to close up his local shop and declare bankruptcy after buying…

4 years ago
World’s Most Boring Video Game Player Raises Defense StatWorld’s Most Boring Video Game Player Raises Defense Stat

World’s Most Boring Video Game Player Raises Defense Stat

PEORIA, Ill. — Friends of Shaun Conner were disappointed but unsurprised as he continually raised the defense stat of his…

4 years ago
Realm’s Chosen Savior Agonizing at Lair Entrance Whether to Drop Broadsword or ScimitarRealm’s Chosen Savior Agonizing at Lair Entrance Whether to Drop Broadsword or Scimitar

Realm’s Chosen Savior Agonizing at Lair Entrance Whether to Drop Broadsword or Scimitar

HYMERA — At the end of a harrowing journey to rescue his land from certain devastation, steadfast warrior Demetrios Cherwink…

4 years ago
RPG Quests Distract Player From Hours of Riveting Menu GameplayRPG Quests Distract Player From Hours of Riveting Menu Gameplay

RPG Quests Distract Player From Hours of Riveting Menu Gameplay

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — After sinking a solid weekend into the RPG Manifest Beyond, local gamer Mallory Cruz began to…

5 years ago
Useless NPC Shares Boring Personal Story That’s Not Even a Clue or AnythingUseless NPC Shares Boring Personal Story That’s Not Even a Clue or Anything

Useless NPC Shares Boring Personal Story That’s Not Even Clue or Anything

EDMOND, Okla. — Upon directing his hero to talk to a kindly NPC, local gamer Rory Leech was devastated to…

5 years ago
High School Student Begins New Game Plus of Senior YearHigh School Student Begins New Game Plus of Senior Year

High School Student Begins New Game Plus of Senior Year

HAMILTON, Ohio —  After choosing the “bad grades” story route during his initial playthrough of senior year, Tommy Martin has…

6 years ago