politics

Director of Upcoming Game ‘Shoot JFK in the Fucking Head’ Insists It Won’t Be Political in Nature

LOS ANGELES — The director of an upcoming first person shooter set in Dallas during the 1960s, Shoot JFK in…

4 years ago

Beware: If We Make Minimum Wage $15 Then People Won’t Need Two Jobs, Meaning They’ll Have Leisure Time, Meaning There Will Be More Gamers

The national debate over minimum wage has raged on in the United States ever since President Biden made it an…

4 years ago

Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D

EL PASO, Texas — Former United States representative Beto O’Rourke announced a new skateboarding video game that lets players collect…

4 years ago

Anti-Video Game Senator Caught Blowing Nintendo Cartridge in Airport Bathroom

NEW YORK CITY —  Notorious anti-video game Senator Bob Sandleson was found this weekend blowing a video game cartridge inside…

4 years ago

Moderates Attempt to Cancel America’s Evolution

UNITED STATES — After years and countless experience points towards progression, America has finally reached a high enough level to…

5 years ago

DNC Backfire: Millions Plan to Write-In ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ for President After ‘Vote Blue No Matter Who’ Campaign

WASHINGTON — Democratic National Committee officials are reportedly scrambling to fix their Vote Blue Matter Who campaign now that it…

5 years ago

I Cannot Endorse Bernie Sanders’ Proposed Wealth Tax Because He is Clearly Count Olaf in Disguise

One might think Bernie Sanders is an ideal presidential candidate, but this could not be further from the truth as…

5 years ago

Bloomberg Uses Money Cheat Code to Access Debate Stage

LAS VEGAS —  Alleged Democratic Presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has reportedly exploited a cheat code which converts his collected funds…

5 years ago

I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him

The 2020 Democratic Primary race is shaping up to be a cutthroat march to the nomination. Well, it was, until…

6 years ago